Online dating thread
I started this as a thread where 2+2 members could share advice on online dating. I'm 25 years old, and have had trouble finding a GF in person, so I've decided to try the online route.
I admittedly have no game when it comes to girls, as I'm a natural shy person, so I'll mostly be on the receiving end of the knowledge. As I improve, I'll share the wealth. :-)
From poker I've learned how helpful it is to have an advisor to give you advice and encouragement, and sympathize with you when you fail.
For starters, what are the best sites out there for free, and what sites are worth laying the money down for a subscription ? I'm on POF and OKcupid.
I mean, of course the concept of someone being judged better or worse to lend money to by institutions is/was always a thing but I’ve never once heard an individual mention their own score or even the concept of one
Then how do they judge people when deciding to lend? By the the person's gate?
Gf and I broke up yesterday. It was mutual - we realized we didn't have long-term compatibility. I learned a lot during this time tho, even in a short 5 month time frame. Going to do more work on myself physically, get in better shape and lose some weight before I re-enter the dating scene.
Luckily cold weather is approaching and I'll be content at home on my own. Hoping to meet someone to spend time with once it gets warmer again next year, however.
Gf and I broke up yesterday. It was mutual - we realized we didn't have long-term compatibility. I learned a lot during this time tho, even in a short 5 month time frame. Going to do more work on myself physically, get in better shape and lose some weight before I re-enter the dating scene.
Luckily cold weather is approaching and I'll be content at home on my own. Hoping to meet someone to spend time with once it gets warmer again next year, however.
that's no good buddy. getting in shape/dropping some lbs is always a good goal - so good for the mental health and self esteem as well as the physical appearance and the way you feel.
I don’t know, it’s cuffing season. Might be good to get out there.
what the above user said, theres always like 10-20% more activity on apps in the winter months
but if yore not mentally ready the thats more than ok
There was also a very nice blackjack dealer yesterday
She spent a lot of time asking me personal questions etc and was very friendly, joking with me etc, ie despite knowing I wanted it face up on doubles she’d sometimes take a look and then if it was bad keep it face down, and then later troll me by pretending a face card was a bad one and keeping it face down so I’d be surprised when it won despite her having 20. Long story short, lots of conversation, she knew a lot about me etc by the end of t
don't let the last part stop you.
younger women(early 20s) love older men (40+) , a lot out in the open and a lot more wish it secretly.
that's no good buddy. getting in shape/dropping some lbs is always a good goal - so good for the mental health and self esteem as well as the physical appearance and the way you feel.
Honestly, I used to fear being alone. It made me rush into relationships and settle for less than I deserved at times. It sucks that it took so long to understand that there are worse things in life than ending up alone. Don't get me wrong, I still believe life is better with a partner, someone to share the good and bad times with - but I am no longer scared that I'll never find the right person.
So I'll get myself into better shape, and take my time getting back out there. When I do, I'll make sure the person I end up with is a good partner and hits my preferences. Not going to settle for someone who isn't right again.
what the above user said, theres always like 10-20% more activity on apps in the winter months
but if yore not mentally ready the thats more than ok
I get it, but I don't want to rush into something and don't mind taking time to get myself in better shape. That is something I have needed to focus on for awhile. Better late than never I suppose.
I still have time to meet someone. I'm mid 40s, so plenty of life left (I hope).
Gf and I broke up yesterday. It was mutual - we realized we didn't have long-term compatibility. I learned a lot during this time tho, even in a short 5 month time frame. Going to do more work on myself physically, get in better shape and lose some weight before I re-enter the dating scene.
Luckily cold weather is approaching and I'll be content at home on my own. Hoping to meet someone to spend time with once it gets warmer again next year, however.
If it's not too personal what was the compatibility issue? On the plus side, you dodged Christmas. That saves you some $$$. GL with future relationships!
If it's not too personal what was the compatibility issue? On the plus side, you dodged Christmas. That saves you some $$$. GL with future relationships!
She's never been married, and wants marriage. That isn't a deal breaker itself, but she doesn't want to live with someone before marriage. I'm definitely not getting married again without living with someone first.
Also, my cat is an ******* and hates other cats for whatever reason. He was originally raised with other cats with no issues, but since I got divorced and he's been an only cat, he has been very aggressive when being introduced to other cats. She has 2 cats, so that would be a problem.
She lives an hour and 40 minutes away, and the distance isn't easy. We saw each other most weekends (she had to miss a few due to financial issues when she was supposed to come see me) but I want to find someone closer and easier to spend time with.
She had a difficult past and struggled with finances (she is doing better now but has some loans that are weighing her down until they're paid off). I paid for 90% of our dates and didn't want to continue that.
cb it sounds nuts to me that she would flat out refuse to live together prior to marriage - feels like a major red flag there
as i'm sure you know and agree, you learn so much more from living with someone than even if you were already staying in the same place most nights anyway
it's that transition from guest/host to roommate which is the big change maker
it's these little efforts you'd make as a host or guest that cease - until you're both ok with taking a loud dump in the adjacent room you're not a true couple imo
cb it sounds nuts to me that she would flat out refuse to live together prior to marriage - feels like a major red flag there
as i'm sure you know and agree, you learn so much more from living with someone than even if you were already staying in the same place most nights anyway
it's that transition from guest/host to roommate which is the big change maker
it's these little efforts you'd make as a host or guest that cease - until you're both ok with taking a loud dump in the adjacent room you're n
I don't think it's a red flag, exactly. More a lack of life experience. She's never been married before, and does have a religious background, so I'm guessing that ties into it as well. I know people who have never been married before that have the same feeling - no living together until marriage. I just don't think they understand how important it is but I'm not going to argue it with them, either.
I knew it! A Guardian article from last Spring.
Cliffs?
^^^^ Can confirm.
weird one over the past few weeks. the dating has been going pretty well and one of the women in particular had a vg first date. Went over to her place for second date and once it became apparent that sexy time was about to happen she stopped and told me that she had been a carrier of genital herpes for 25 years. Basically that....
- between 1 in 7 and 1 in 8 adults are carrriers
- once you have it you can't ever get rid of it
- she hasn't had any symptoms for a decade
- it's difficult to transmit and as you get older transmission becomes rarer and rarer (she's 50)
- she's never transmitted it to someone, albeit she's only had a few LT relationships and her body count post marriage is at 3 and 2 of those already were carriers by the time she met them
so anyway, at the time and with the horn I decided to **** her anyway. With a condom obvs. But I now feel quite icky about it. Not about the chances that I caught it but icky about going back to **** her again. Which is a shame because she's very good looking and a really nice girl - like definitely the sanest and easiest to get along with of the women I've dated/been with in the past few months.
I've done some reading on it and everything she said does seem to be true but I reckon the mental block is there now. And man the pics aren't great. I just feel that a) it's not something I think I can get over...like I feel that I won't be able to relax any more if/when I'm rooting her and b) I really don't want to catch it and have it curtail or ruin my sexy time activities moving forward
given the % though, I'm guessing there's people itt who have had it/been with people who've had it. Albeit I'm also guessing some of us have had it/are carriers or have been with people who are carriers without knowing it
anyone had any experience?
i would guess you've probably rooted some carriers already unaware of it because none were as amazingly brave as she was to disclose that beforehand and/or they don't even know they have it/are carriers
ie anyone who get cold sores in their mouth has herpes but they call it a cold sore and not herpes for obvious reasons
this is something i've looked into a bit myself because i had a partner with the same situation
if she isn't active at the moment with symptoms, she can't transmit to you and i'd be more willing to trust her since she seems to be on top of her game on that rather than a partner who fails to disclose or isn't even aware she's a carrier because she thought that one time her vag was burning and then it went away and so she thought nothing of it
i would guess you've probably rooted some carriers already unaware of it because none were as amazingly brave as she was to disclose that beforehand and/or they don't even know they have it/are carriers
ie anyone who get cold sores in their mouth has herpes but they call it a cold sore and not herpes for obvious reasons
this is something i've looked into a bit myself because i had a partner with the same situation
if she isn't active at the moment with sympto
yes, I agree with all of this. really high integrity girl. I caught up with her the other day and had a conversation with her about it and she totally got it and tbh was very empathetic and non defensive and was basically telling me that while she liked me a lot, she could tell that I've got some rooting to do before I'm ready to settle into a relationship. so maybe we should just either see each other platonically and see if I get over the kick or do FWB for a while.
the mental block is there though and I'm not sure I'll be able to get it out of my mind. If I really really liked her, I would get myself tested to see if I already carry it because that might make things easier, but it would also put me in a difficult spot with other women who I wanted to ****.
idk. will just put it all on the back burner and see how I feel moving forward
