Bribri's blog

Man that is rough. I'm glad you bounced back... I'm currently at a low point in my life, trying to bounce back myself.

Rough but self-inflicted. It’s only once I stopped making excuses I was able to change completely. It’s a lot like poker actually, you vs you.

In rehab and AA they say it’s a disease, that you are a vitcim. I have nothing against AA or rehab, it helped me a lot, but I think enforcing that theory on people that struggle with alcohol or whatever just makes it worse. It made me feel like a victim, it made me feel helpless, like it’s not my fault so there’s nothing I can do about it which is absolute bullsh**.
If you put your mind to it you are capable of great things. You can become a person that does what they say they’re gonna do. I will do 100 pushups a day, you do it, I will become a professional poker player, you do it. I will quit smoking and drinking, you do it.

I don’t know what you are struggling with but I hope you will find the strength to get through it! Take care!

Not gonna give an update for last week. I started playing again last weekend, 20NL&50NL 6 tables. Took some time to get back into it but we back! I really don’t like taking such a long time of poker even though it was only 9 days.

Will have a coaching session today on bluffcatching when facing BXB line and later also want to have one for facing probes and follow up OTR.

My baseline is getting stronger and stronger which makes me feel very comfortable and stops me from punting or getting out of line. I of course still adjust where I can.

Also talked to team leadster yesterday in office again. Parttime should be possible by next year. Probably February or March. I don’t really care what my results are by then, I just want to give it my everything in this. Parttime and poker will be the perfect combo imo.

Ps: Montenegro is a beautiful country!

Small sample because of holiday but I don't like how I played. A recurring problem seems to be that I learn something and then apply it to the extreme. Like when I learn a new line based on MDA, I apply it without thinking, not taking the other factors into consideration anymore.
Somewhere down the line I also lost all my creativity, I am playing like a robot. It started since I wrote out my strategy, it helps to avoid punts and tilt but as said, it makes me play like a robot and it takes the fun away. I would never be able to play like this for long stretches of time.
It's not a big issue imo, I just need to take all these pieces and put them together while allowing for deviations and creativity.

I also decided to study more. I sometimes like studying more than playing honestly. I should also focus on improving, not getting in volume. I thought GTOW was a waste of time until 200NL, but that was because I didn't know what I was doing, I was mindlessly drilling without actually retaining anything or learning something. Now that I understand the game better I like to look at spots, see what GTO is doing and then compare it to what pool is actually doing and figure out how I need to adjust. This is active study and the best way to learn for me. Then there are some other resources I will use as well.

So the plan is to actively study at least 2-3 days a week and see from there. Always be mindful not to go from one extreme to the other, just expand the strategy step by step and become a more complete player.

For the coming weeks I will also keep mixing 20NL/50NL depending on how it goes and how I feel.

October:
Results: -138,3eur
Rakeback: 177,29eur
Total: 38,99eur
BR: 1011.71eur

So this month is one to forget resultswise but I learned a lot and I am even more excited now for the future as I think I will have a blast!

GLGL!

Gl in November!
You are the only one that can make this work!

I am getting a bit butchered at the moment. Down 9 buyins 20NL (2 buyins under ev), 4.5k hands. After reading some articles and talking to other players about variance I came to understand that this is all very normal. I feel like I am playing better than ever, way better than my good September month. It is a bit daunting though how wild variance can get but if I want to make it this is something I will have to learn to cope with.

So moving forward I will rate my sessions based on the quality of decision making instead of results. I will create an excel file where I rate every session, how did I feel, did I tilt, if yes, what caused it? What was my routine before session, ...
This will lead me to focus on making the highest EV decision in every spot rather then feel bad because I'm down. I do not tilt very easily but I did "punt" 1.5 buyins during this downswing because of tilt. 1BI I still got it in w nut flush draw and overcard OTT but the way I made the decision was pure tilt. The other half buyin was just very bad play.

I will also stop updating this blog every week as it will make me focus too much on short term results again. Once every month will be better imo. Maybe I will start posting some hands in between.

I also have a great coach now and getting constant feedback from far better players. I am improving fast and playing better than ever. The results will follow, I have no doubt.

Lastly, I ditched the part-time job idea (before this downswing). I didn't realize how good this situation actually is that I am in right now. I work mostly from home and don't have to do a lot so I have a lot of time to review hands or go through some course during the day. I can also choose the time I start, so mostly I start at 7am and finish at 3pm which gives me all day to grind, workout, go climbing, ... Also, they pay very well considering I live in an Eastern European country. With this job I can buy a house here in a year or 2. (not taking possible poker winnings into consideration).

All this made me realize that I am always looking for greener grass on the other side, blinding myself for what I have right now, that I am the happiest I have ever been, how fortunate I am. I am feeling more and more at peace with myself after that turbulent decade in my life.

Allright. Little update. I will take a break from playing poker until at least next year and focus on study only.

I am getting burned out and I just don’t enjoy playing anymore.

I will use this time to completely reset. Start working on the absolute basics by going through theory based courses so that I have a very solid foundation to build further upon. This will take time but I am in no rush. It will remain a work in progress forever anyway.

I will also focus heavily on the mental game as this is where the root of all my „problems” lie.

GLGL

Greetings,

Wanted to update this blog again since my break is over since early January after I got back from Belgium.
I'm in a very good place right now mentally speaking. I've had some discussions with my extremely impulsive mind but I'm starting to feel more comfortable and learning to live with these impulses.
To give you an idea, in the past few months I wanted to be a pokerpro and quit my job or go part-time, I wanted to move to Montenegro or Thailand, I almost enlisted for the army to become an officer, was also briefly thinking about quitting my job and start walking from Norway to South of Italy (it takes about 2 years to complete...).
Anyway, I am becoming more aware of these moments and working more consciously on it. Luckily my gf didn't get a nervous breakdown yet from all my amazing ideas.

What else:
- I'm sober for almost 7 months now (no alcohol, cigs, ...). It's not something that I see as part of my life anymore so doesn't require any effort but I try to stay aware
- I run once or twice a week (at first I couldn't even run for 2min in one go but now 6km in 40min with lots of uphill, calisthenics at home and bouldering
- I invest most of my money in crypto now for long term. I needed to get a bit used to seeing myself get richer or poorer by 1k-2k every time I woke up, but luckily I'm very tolerant to this and did a lot of research beforehand to know a bit what I was getting myself into
- my job is going great and I'm actually starting to like it now that I get way more responsibilities and that my work is valued by the means of bonuses, promotions and the whole bonanza. There is also no sense in quitting or working part-time since I play in evenings only anyway when games are better. I would have to make a fuckton of money playing 500NL or something before I would even consider it. And even then I would probably still like to combine it with something else.

Now poker, below my results for January. Pretty low volume because I focus heavily on table selection now and play max 4 tables.
I also do regular coaching, going through the carrot course, hand reviews alone or with people in the discord and canceled my GTOW sub.
I still made a ton of blunders but I am improving fast and that is what counts.
For February I would like to play more 50NL.

50NL:

20NL:

Bankroll currently sitting at 1450eur
Will update this blog bi-weekly!

Salut!

As a way to work seriously start working on my mental game, I started this "progress tracker". Hopefully this will make me focus on improving instead of letting my confidence go up and down based on daily results.

08/02/2025
General feeling
- Confidence went up and down with results. Feeling very down seeing most of my profits of the year disappear. Feeling good about a hand because I won even though I played it badly
- calling low pairs & SCs more often pre IP v 3B to try and win a stack and make up for losses
- Constantly looking at bankroll making me feel more down and anxious when losing or re-energized after winning few buyins thinking the “downswing” is over now
- Was able to apply the concepts I have learned recently from last coaching session: double barrel turn SRP
Was not able to fold in spots pre that are in theory +EV or 0EV but in practice -EV
- To summarize, the focus is in the wrong places, too much results orientated while I should focus on making the highest EV decision in every spot.

Quality of play and mental game
Rating on quality of play before session review: 6
I think I played decent but could’ve avoided some spots pre where I was chasing losses, trying to hit and stack off. Also some bluff spots where I put stack in that I should not bluff because of board texture or type of opponent, something I should know by now.

Rating on quality of play after session review: 7
In game felt bad about some bluffcatch spots just because I lost but they were actually good calls. I did not find any blunders or punts.
The thing I’m most happy about is that I was able to find more double barrels in SRP both for value and as a bluff. I did miss some in 3BPs IP I think but I still need to cover this topic with coach.
There were a few questionable bluffs though that I could’ve avoided by simply folding pre and also one hand where I burned my equity
Overall happy with quality of play

Rating on quality of mental game: 2
Very poor mental game. Confidence rollercoaster in line with results. Confidence even went up after winning a flip or winning a hand even though I played it badly (I won the pot, so I played well).
Looking at bankroll after every significant pot
chasing losses
Not focusing on making highest EV play every spot
Constantly looking at graph before downswing and wondering where all the profit went, making myself feel bad
Feeling bad after losing profitable bluffcatch

How many times did I look at bankroll while playing?
Way too much. I would say after every significant pot. Next session I will take a piece of paper and a pen and mark every time I look at my bankroll. This in itself will hopefully stop me from looking at results while playing

Session review (on 09/02/2025)
Bad preflop Cs v 3B against very tight ranges making the play -EV
In other spots was able to adjust my preflop ranges (4B more against player who 3Bs wide)
Make difficult fold post knowing villain is not overbluffing or will likely tripe
good bluffcatch in overbluffed spots (in game felt bad about these calls because I lost the pot)

09/02/2025
What did I do to improve?
- Review session 08/02/2025: all hands +10bb won/lost (used color tags for bad play, bluffcatch, double barrel SRP and hands I need to look at with coach or post in discord). Especially the bad play tags are useful as I can review these before starting my session so that I will be more likely to avoid them.
- Read mental game of poker confidence chapter
- Stretch
- will go for 1h walk
- will do workout at home (squats, pullups, dips, rows, …)

Quality mental game 09/02/2025
Quality of mental game: 8
Got advice of not looking at bankroll anymore and not look at results while playing. I came to a point where I was looking at my bankroll after every pot which drained a lot of mental energy.
So this Sunday I didn’t look at my bankroll once and only looked at results at the end of the day in my tracker. It makes a huge difference. I feel like I am more focused, more relaxed and have more mental energy while playing. Now that I did not pay attention to my BR at all, I needed to focus on something else, which was trying to make the best decision in every spot. It was like a complete shift in the right direction.
I will also not follow fixed BRM rules. I will just go more with the flow. Are games good now? How do I feel? Have I been playing well lately? Am I in a good mental state? Based on this I will decide which stake I play ranging from 10nl to 50nl for now.
I did feel symptoms of tilt after losing half my stack twice to the same reg in a 4BP, preflop debating whether to call or not and obviously ending up in shity spot with a hand that is in theory a call but in practice could just be a fold. This particular reg definitely has enough 4B bluffs pre but taking into consideration that I will make mistakes post and possibly tilt for putting myself in a shitty spot may make the call -EV. I do think in hindsight I played these hands well postflop. It is also a good sign that I recognize the feelings of tilt (it’s a warm flush in my chest) and can thus insert reason, take some deep breaths or take a small break.
Lastly, listening to some techno with headphones puts me more in a grind zone.

What did I do to improve?
set goal of not looking at bankroll in February nor look at results while playing
review 09/02/2025 session all 10+bb won/lost
read more MGOP confidence section

12/02/2025
Mental game
Not gonna rate my sessions every time. Will just talk more about what I have learned in the previous session on the mental side of things and how I felt before, during and/or after play.
Yesterday I played 6 tables 10nl and a little bit of 20nl the second session because for some reason there weren’t any 10nl tables available.
I’m starting to be more consistent with my warmup routine.

• no screen time for at least half hour (walk, workout, cook, …)
  
• stretch 10min
  
• Read my “must read before play” notepad
  
• listen to warm-up playlist that gets me in the right mood. (Tory Lanez - broke in a minute (bit of unfortunate title but the song is great), Gibbs, Opal - drive, Plastic Bertrand - Ca plane pour moi)
  
• don’t fire up 6 tables from the go, start with 3 and add more when settled in
  

During play:

• For some reason the gameplay freezes for a few seconds sometimes when playing 6 tables, I don’t know if it is the client or my laptop (i7 core with 8gb RAM), not the best laptop but shouldn’t be a problem to play 6 tables I think. This tilted me a bit sometimes as it took me out of the flow.
  
• Made some good plays where I deviated from my baseline strategy because I felt it was right in that exact spot. This is kinda my goal, to train my intuition, learn when I should trust my gut and when I shouldn’t, to stop putting myself in an imaginary box and thus not make plays even though I have a strong feeling I should. It is of course still very important to improve my baseline strategy which I’m working on with my coach but that doesn’t mean I can’t deviate from it when I think I should.
  
• On the other hand, I got a bit too fancy in one hand. I expected this would happen now and then in the beginning, which is my I’m playing 10nl so it doesn’t matter too much when I fuck up. It will take time to learn how to play more based on “feel”.
  

What I learned:
I started reading the “fear” section of MGOP. I was surprised that I could relate with almost everything he said in the beginning of the chapter.
“while you may not experience fear in a big way, it may show up more subtle in one of the following ways:

• you feel rushed for no apparent reason
  
• you constantly replay previous hands in your mind
  
• you constantly check results or cashier
  
• your mind races and you can’t stop thinking
  
• avoid high-variance plays
  
• feel overwhelmed about learning the game”
  

All of the above I can strongly relate with which was a bit mindblowing that all of this is caused by some underlying fear. And fear is an accumulation of anxiety, which I have most definitely struggled with in my life. Most of all this is caused by questions that remain unanswered or unproven. Some questions that come to mind at first glance are:

• Do I experience normal variance or am I just bad at poker?
  
• Maybe I will never be a winning player?
  

And then it goes deeper to:

• If I don’t make it, will I always be dependent on a job to make a living? Will I have to waste my time doing something I am not passionate about for the rest of my life? Will I always be part of this corporate nonsense? Having to abide by their rules?
  

So I think all this comes down to a deep fear of partly living a wasted life, spending 40 hours a week on something that I don’t want to be a part of, I don’t want to be part of the matrix and live like everybody else, I want to be different and live the life I want to live. It deeply bothers me that I sit in traffic in the morning with everybody else, at the same time everybody else goes to work (even though it’s only 5 times a month as I work mostly from home, my job circumstances are great to be fair). Yesterday for example I took a day off and went to the mall because I needed shoes. There were people drinking coffee at 10am in the mall working on their laptops. I want to be like those people, drinking a coffee at 10am in the mall on a Monday when nobody else is there. Not going shopping on a Saturday with everybody else, walking over heads because that’s when everybody has off from work.

My vision is to play poker full-time in combination with something else that I actually enjoy doing and that benefits somebody or something. Like being a dogwalker for example. So everything is tied to poker as I enjoy it a lot and feel like this is perfect for my plans to escape the matrix.

I will work more on this fear section as I think it will benefit me greatly.

13/02/2025
I don’t know why I placed so much importance on this recent downswing I had, but it might be the best downswing that happened to me in my “poker career”. I see poker as a mental journey, it forces me to get rid of all the bullshit, all the little lies I tell myself, the illusions I have about myself or my game. It forces me to have a long, deep look and be brutally honest. The way I feel while playing is a reflection of how I feel in my mind. It’s better than therapy for me, I don’t think I ever learned so much about myself since I went to rehab in South-Africa. Might sound silly, how a game of cards can change somebody, but that’s just the way it is for me and I’m grateful for that.

I had a completely wrong approach to the game (my dad telling me this for a year but I can be very stubborn and ignorant sometimes). I was focused on making money, which to be fair is why everybody plays poker in the first place. Moving up as fast as I can, thinking I’m a winning player after a 5k hand upswing, never really being able to provide a solid graph for any stake, stressing myself out because I need to win as fast as possible. But I understand now that money should not be the focus. The focus should be on learning, figuring out what works and what doesn’t, what approach works best for you, improve mental game, eat better, exercise regularly, get your personal life in order. If you do all this, the money will come. It may seem very obvious to a lot of people, “yeah bro, duh!”, but when you have sort of tunnel vision, blinding yourself to what should be focused on, it is very hard to see anything else but that bankroll. And I don’t blame myself, I just want it too bad I guess, like a dog wanting to eat that treat. If he jumps around, trying to grab it, he will not get it. Only when the dog is patient and sits, will he get the treat.

So the plan for now is to play 50k hands of 10nl, if I’m happy with my winrate and feel comfortable with my game, I will move up. I have 120 buyins for this stake so there is no stress at all. I can try out different things, see what works for me and what doesn’t. Try to find a nice balance with baseline strategy and my own approach. I review all 10bb+ pots won/lost and write down in what spots I felt really good and in which I didn’t.
I had a lot of fun already trying out new things, bit crazy things but makes a lot of sense to me, training my intuition, it feels good to play with zero stress.

I also changed my nickname because I was playing with this nick for way too long, so it’s nice to start with a “clean slate” in my tracker. No more bribri on the tables.

You might be right, and maybe I will need to re-evaluate again after 50k hands. But I have tried all that. Looking at solvers, trying to understand them, studying courses, yt videos and whatever stuff is out there, playing 2 tables, 4 tables to focus more, ... Also, when you ask 10 poker players about their view on the game and how they study or what they think is important, you will likely get 10 different answers and they might all be winning players. It is taking all this together and find the approach that suits you best.
So, after failing a lot, trying different approaches, I will do now what I feel good with. And what feels most natural to me is playing, reviewing hands and coaching sessions with one of the best.

Also, if I feel comfortable playing 6 tables, which I do, I play 6 tables. If it is too much on one evening, I play 4 tables. If I feel I am not in the right mental state at all, I just stop playing.