Online dating thread
I started this as a thread where 2+2 members could share advice on online dating. I'm 25 years old, and have had trouble
The “you” was not directed at you but meant in the general sense, that “you” can be anyone.
But thanks for answering what you thought was my question. 👍
Sorry, I misunderstood. In that case I'd say wait outside in front of the location. Meeting your date outside would be the ideal approach. That's my opinion anyhow.
not sure about the above meeting spot convo
IF you are meeting someone surely a place has been said to meet, i.e "i'll meet you outside the restaurant at 8pm" or "ill meet you in the restaurant at 8pm"
i will usually arrange to either meet outside or a bar first anyways, i couldnt imagine saying lets meet inside the restaurant, for the person to not show up and ur sat there like a pleb. 😃
so in general always have this meeting point fixed beforehand.
My coworker used to live across the hall from Shoshanna when Jerry was dating her. He said it was very odd to hear Jerry laughing in her apt as he [my friend] watched 'Seinfeld.'
Do we think Jerry was watching the show too?
Could have been the ultimate meta-episode.
dating is for losers. no time for that. just go to bar and sit at a table and drink beers all night by yourself..
experience/TRs with Viagra/Cialis?
I've been dating a smokeshow who I met IRL and it's been going slow but well. Got her over last night and both kids were out and inexplicably couldn't get my lad working.
Almost certainly psychological - the minute I thought I only had a semi, it became a big deal in my head...particularly given I really like her and it was going to be the 1st time etc. Had had a raging horn in previous dates when I'd been making out with her. And it hasn't been an issue with the other women I've been rooting since separating from the ex
either way, she took it really well and was super good about it, but couldn't make it work in the morning either. so traumatic both in general and as above because I really like her and want it to work.
SO anyway and the next time around is clearly very important, so I can't leave it to chance and got straight online to order some (In Aus you can't buy at the store, so you need to go through a few shenanigans with an online doctor)
either way...hoping it'll be here in a few days (I think it'll be Viagra). My questions....
any tips for when to take/how much?
TRs on how effective it is?
I've used it to spice things up here and there
Can take 30 minutes before or probably up to 4-6 hours in most cases
Basically will get you crazy hard and might make you be able to go multiple times
You can probably get by with 10mg of either but I wouldn't take more than 25 unless prescribed
i often thought about getting some to combat whiskey dick back in my "heavy drinking and picking up women at 2 am and fighting tooth and nail to maintain the erection with a condom" days but never pulled the trigger because both the awkwardness of buying viagra in a foreign language whilst in your 20s and the additional factor was i figured in that state i'd probably take way too much by accident
recently had a string of meetups with that marine biologist - she is leaving the country soon (we bonded over living as expats) so doesn't want to date and isn't about hookups but i'm all about that because she's legitimately super fun to hang out with and i'm not really attracted to her, i mean she's not unattractive, i definitely would hook up if she were into that but she also seems to be kinda flirty at times, way more so than regular "friend mode" so i kinda get the feeling that if i made a move of sorts she's be amendable to it but again not really excited by that but do on the other hand really enjoy talking to her and playing pool/mini golf/air hockey etc
matched a woman with a very bad profile that showed potential and very good bone structure and a very pretty face but everything obscures the body etc so obviously must be a fatty or just no femineity etc
but hey when in a desert any water looks good and i see a lot of potential - she blows me away as her intro isn't a "hi" but rather a detailed bit on what about my profile she really liked etc so we had a good starting off point and things flowed back and forth very well and so i very quickly arranged meeting in person and gave her my number and we setup a date for yesterday
now i hate texting, absolutely hate it, but we ended up texting a ton, like an excessive amount and none of it was forced, was genuinely very fun, she was hilarious and things just flowed naturally, like i was convinced that "hey if it turns out she's kind of ugs i can still probably put up with it because she's so chill" she even called me once mid text because i thought a vintage looking photo she sent me of her was her mom not her and of course we wound up talking for 2 hours where normally i'm of the "nope not answering going to let that ring" variety
we meet in person and not only is she a smokeshow but has incredible assets which were hidden because she is just super conservative about what she shares - was blown away and the entire time thinking "no way this can go as well as when we texting/calling" but it does go well
ended the night of a first date overlooking the puget sound and making out in the rain - was a typical terrible seattle weather getting rained on in the cold but was still a magical moment
i've mentioned in the thread earlier that one of my moves to end a first date would often be to take the woman to a similar such scenic location to make out
Spoiler
i had a belgium friend who always suggested they go for a jog on a first datehe said it was a great way of screening of secret fatties or women who wouldn't want to stay in shape and then afterwards it was a very natural transition to "do you want to come up to my place and shower" which often led to good things happeningdidn't hurt that he owned his own company and looked like
so when she tells me she wants to take me to another place that's like a 5 min drive away i'm firstly pretty impressed that she trusts me enough to let me in her car etc as that's a pretty vulnerable moment and i assume we're heading off to another bar but i discovered she was on same wavelength as me that was an ideal ending to a first night out where despite that it was cold and lightly raining
she has 2 kids, which is something i've never been sure how i'd feel about but it's flown off me like water when it was disclosed, did not care in the slightest, she checks every box of mine, tall (6'!), smart, witty, ambitious
everything just flows so easily, it's crazy how much we are on the same page, we have the same sense of humor - you may notice my attempts at humor mostly just annoy people here 😀
i also seem to have hit the jackpot in that she was looking for some very esoteric traits in a man which i just happened to have ie she very specifically wanted a guy who played hockey and i just happened to have a photo of me playing on a frozen lake with the great wall in the background - the entire thing was a "look at this crazy thing flex" but she hadn't even noticed the great wall she was just focused on the fact that i had a hockey stick
without sounding like more of a pompous douche than i do already (hard i know because the bar is so low) but i'm also by no means unattractive, but my looks tend to be pretty mid to most but there's a small subset that are really into me and she's of course one of them so it just flows amazingly
i also think her height will scare off or intimidate most men so in a way it's the same situation for how much i'm into her (but she's legit hot, former catalog model)
i'm not doing a lot of things optimally whatsoever, but things are just flowing so naturally i'm just going with it
i know it's premature, but i just deleted my accounts (it's not the loss it sounds like, had nothing other actively going on anyway and was strongly considering deleting and starting over to get that new account buff)
so, i was considering moving to seattle anyway but this kind of seals it and now definitely going to stay a bit longer to at least see how this plays out and start looking at proper apartments
That sounds really positive RR - good luck!
I went out with a group of friends yesterday for the St Patrick's Day celebration here. Ended up flirting with one of them, a woman I hadn't met before. Next thing I knew she was kissing me, and we ended up making out most of the afternoon and evening. Alcohol played a part for sure (I'm normally quiet and reserved but was loosened up after drinking), and we have a dinner date planned for tomorrow night. We have similar wants and interests so this seems to have promise also.
I am hoping that since it happened more organically rather than from OLD maybe this will work a little better.
^ I had been thinking about asking you if you were still in Seattle. I hope the poker has been going as well as the dating.
thanks guys and that's awesome cb
main thing i've taken away by this is to keep plugging away
the amount of time i spent getting ghosted by women who aren't even 1/3 as awesome as this one was really bringing me down but i feel like my perspective was off
it's not about "i'm a 6 so i should match with some 6s, a few 7s and everything 5 and below" which is how i was approaching it
it's much more square peg vs round hole and given my background and experiences i'm much more of a esoteric shape that can't be so easily filled, i imagine most people here, who post on a forum run by software from the mid 90s are going to be those random and obscure shapes rather than the heart of the bell curve circles and squares
even if this goes disastrously and the next date i discover it was all a facade or she says i should join this awesome club she's in called the kkk and wind up getting back on the apps, i'm going to stop putting in efforts when none is given back and just move until i find someone compatible enough to at least attempt conversation
will no longer try to maintain a conversation, that's another reason for deleting the apps, it was mostly a graveyard of matches that was pretty depressing to look at
I’ve been off the apps for about 6 weeks now and very happy about it. Introduced myself to a woman in real life (for first time ever while sober at age 53!) and it’s going very well. (Fortunately the stage fright mentioned above was just that and while I have got some viagra now for just in case purposes or for an occasion where Olympian efforts are called for, it hasn’t been needed)
But yeah, I very quickly decided that if all I got was a ‘hi’ or a ‘hey’ and then I hit a similar 1 word/1 sentence response from a follow up question, then I didn’t follow up any further.
I had that luxury because I probably have a more attractive profile than most and seemed to get a lot of decent matches but I think it’s GTO anyway - I never got to the stage where I had invested any emotional energy or hope into the early stages of a match but even from a time POV it gets consuming and tiring. And I am just not prepared to start any kind of relationship with someone where there’s an unequal dynamic where I’m doing all the work ir it’s me chasing and them selecting.
I've used it to spice things up here and there
Can take 30 minutes before or probably up to 4-6 hours in most cases
Basically will get you crazy hard and might make you be able to go multiple times
You can probably get by with 10mg of either but I wouldn't take more than 25 unless prescribed
I got some 25mg over the internet but then also got my doc to give me a prescription when I went in last week for my annual check up and that was 100mg tabs. Albeit he advised to only take a half.
I might trial a 25mg one this weekend just to see what it’s like
Rick, how many times have you met her now?
I wanted to turn off the apps after date 2 with my one but decided it was bad juju so waited til after date 4.
Rick, how many times have you met her now?
I wanted to turn off the apps after date 2 with my one but decided it was bad juju so waited til after date 4.
just one but it was for 5 hours and we chat quite a bit (would have gone longer but she had a babysitter)
it was not so much about "this is the one" just more "i'm not feeling pursuing others until i see how this shakes out"
had i had even a single prospect going on at the present then i would not have deleted until things had gone along further
was very much strongly considering a reset before we matched anyway so was definitely going in that direction already
we talk a lot and she's been very non-gto in the sense that she's very open about liking me and wanting to pursue this
just one but it was for 5 hours and we chat quite a bit (would have gone longer but she had a babysitter)it was not so much about "this is the one" just more "i'm not feeling pursuing others until i see how this shakes out"had i had even a single prospect going on at the present then i would not have deleted until things had gone along furtherwas very much strongly considering
How old are the kids and what % of the time does she have them?
8 & 9 - idk the exact schedule but she has them but it's split with her having larger share
not just kids though her career + grad school make things hectic but that works for me since i'm working during peak dating hours anyway
big reason why i wanted to explore the west coast was 3 hour gap means my hours start and end a lot earlier so peak is around 3-7 rather than 6-10 back east
Career is a bonus not a drawback imo.
Kids ages are manageable tbh - hopefully she’s on decent/ok terms with the dad. As someone who has some of my (older) kids FT, it does make things a lot more challenging, so it will make it a lot easier if she has at least some days/nights without them
GL
also, this woman didn't bat a single ****ing eye when i told her what i do for a living and didn't have any judgements or stupid follow up questions
her exact response was "oh that makes sense, i was actually assuming you were a day trader"
i definitely think that it helped immensely that she never asked until she got to know my personality better ie it was rickroll who happens to gamble for a living vs the professional gambler
lol this hits close to home
without sounding like more of a pompous douche than i do already (hard i know because the bar is so low) but i'm also by no means unattractive, but my looks tend to be pretty mid to most but there's a small subset that are really into me and she's of course one of them
this felt douchey so wanted to expand on it to make sure it's no longer suspicion of douchey but rather confirmation 😀
this is what i was talking about
most women probably rate me in the middle section of that bell curve (which is un****able to them) and i could fill the pacific ocean with women i'm resoundly unattracted to for whom the feeling is mutual, but for some they really dig whatever combo it is i bring forward where i'd be pretty far on the right side of that chart for them and fortunately sometimes those women are gorgeous
getting rejected by 4s and 3s was a very common experience for me so my confidence in my youth was basically shot because by logic that means i'm a 2, it took a long time for me to accept the asymmetry (i imagine this is the origin of why most men have the "omg she's so out of my league" feeling at some point in their lives) and just roll with it rather constantly be insecure it was going to all fall apart - took a very long time to accept that sometimes attractive women would be very into me and to handle it with confidence
the old act like you've been there before situation
There are certainly quality women who value things more than whether a consensus opinion of people would find said prospective male “attractive”.
Hard to understand what those graphs are actually saying?
