A raging fish on a heater
Intro,
A memoir of a degen:
I've always loved to gamble, and I have done so since I was a kid. It did not start of very w
Hey Olapistola, I study a lot on youtube watching bencb789 and kali replayer of high stakes MTT fts, for atleast an hour a day.
I dont blame very much which is correct amatola, the only thing I blame is the heavy meds I am on.
I am not weak mentally, if you knew my story which I will share maybe tonight you would know I am mentally as solid as titanium.
never cutting my hair, its a bit under my shoulders.
and i got a real job, i work as a teacher.
Hey Olapistola, I study a lot on youtube watching bencb789 and kali replayer of high stakes MTT fts, for atleast an hour a day.
I dont blame very much which is correct amatola, the only thing I blame is the heavy meds I am on.
I am not weak mentally, if you knew my story which I will share maybe tonight you would know I am mentally as solid as titanium.
Do you mark hands and then review later in a tracker or hud or anything?
He blames the meds but he should just gym twice a day and do fasted cardio for 1 hour every morning and another 1 hour of cardio in evening.
He should look better than he did when he wasn't on meds.
Step up op.
9-5 doesn't suit u bro. Poker player is better. get rich and have a bright future. with no real job and long hair.
+1
i used to have sharkscope HUD, but tbh this sucks tho i don't do that.
in 2016 (lol) i had holdem resources and a HUD, but i can't afford that now.
should have bought it when i had a couple of grand.
He blames the meds but he should just gym twice a day and do fasted cardio for 1 hour every morning and another 1 hour of cardio in evening.
He should look better than he did when he wasn't on meds.
Step up op.
aha, did you check my fitness journal?
i gym twice a day sometimes, no cardio tho because meds **** me up.
get on coin poker and play freerolls until u get cash. practice folding
So where do you think you've gone wrong, with regards to your poker for the last ten years, and what will you be doing differently going forward? ��
And hand 2 note is a free hud, if you need one.
More studying, less tilting amatola.
Did two shots at sattelites today, was a big stack in one of them but busted a8cc v Kk 12bb jam in the co.
Maybe going out partying if I get a free entrance ticket, my friend might get one for me.
Not really nice to party depresso espresso style, but what can we do better than nothing.
Did you block your sharkscope? Just wanted to look at some things.
Yes I did in order to hide it from players when I for instance make a final table and want to chop its not good to have that miserable graph.
What you curious about?
Soft bubbled a $7.5 to the $75 daily cool down turbo. Lost a4o v trash for a secured stack, and lost bvb 1.6bb q3o v 49o.
Threw my phone against the wall and my mom scolded me for it, made a dent in my wall.
**** my life man, why Cant I ****ing catch a break.
my ability to regulate my emotions are at times on par with a child, IK this.to my defence this is the 2nd time that the money has caused me to buy steroids which furthermore ****s up my calm and temper which causes me to tilt even harder.i need counselling, i am lowkey ****ed up beyond repair but there should be some hope for me.thank you for your articulate thoughts in this
There are definitely people here who have been somewhat unfair in mocking you, presumably in an effort to improve their own emotional state, but that's also not the only reason they would do that. When you behave foolishly in a public setting, people will mock you. It used to happen to me all the time. It made me angry sometimes and it felt unfair, but now I can see that it was my own fault to a pretty decent extent. I have no interest in "throwing tomatoes" at you, but I am going to be critical of your behavior
Unfortunately imo, you're probably not going to really get better until you hit whatever your actual "rock bottom" is. I'd say you haven't gotten there yet, since you still have your parents (at least mostly) supporting you. I didn't hit rock bottom until I pushed away literally everyone who ever liked me, my family kicked me out, and I was too mentally and emotionally ill to work. When you grew up always having food and shelter taken care of for you, things can get real pretty fast. I sure as hell hope that doesn't have to happen to you, but you're still at a point where you wake up every day knowing that you have a problem, but won't do anything about it. At least your condition doesn't necessarily seem worse than mine was. It's scary and unpleasant to deal with it, but it's arguably much more scary or unpleasant to be homeless, imprisoned, or unwillingly sectioned for a long period of time
You can't "catch a break" because every time you actually do catch a break (there have been numerous instances in this thread), like clockwork, you proceed to very quickly self-destruct because of your poor emotional control
quit poker for 3 months focus on fitness and save up a roll to play mtts. If you can't do that your just a addict. 4k or even 10k worth of debt is nothing.
i already focus on fitness a lot.
summer break is soon here, idk i will maybe get a summer job.
right now not cooking yet, but might be cooking.
sattied into the nightly $55 prog ko, lets ****ing go!
Stop buying roids bro
They barely ****ing did anything to my body except making me a lot more irritable.
Such a ****ing bad investment, that was €200 down the mother****ing drain.
Sunday funday, lets see who we can loan from - lol.
On my way to help a friend move out of his old place.
He was threatened at gunpoint, and ASAP needs to move because there was quite a confrontation.
This is quite dangerous, like there is a real 1%er of me getting shot and killed but its a good friend. So 1 in 100 times this will be my last post, in that case may I be remembered as a legend.
Lets hold, in this quite dangerous ordeal.
On my way to help a friend move out of his old place.He was threatened at gunpoint, and ASAP needs to move because there was quite a confrontation.This is quite dangerous, like there is a real 1%er of me getting shot and killed but its a good friend. So 1 in 100 times this will be my last post, in that case may I be remembered as a legend.Lets hold, in this quite dangerous orde
this is a story to tell the chicks if u hold.
I held, for now.
We crossed path with the guy when we were heading out to his house to get my friends stuff and bed etc.
He looked back at us and went into a bar.
I was quite on my watch and very stressed out while we packed like 4-5 bags of stuff and got down a whole bed into a van that moved our stuff to a storage place.
Yeah, over and out for now. Rn waiting for him outside his temporary place for us to go to the train station together.
I got $9.98 which isnt quite $10 which is the minimum deposit for stars, will ask my friend for a tiny loan.
Got $5 from my friend.
Busted a $3.30 sat to the Sunday $33 supersonic first hand 3! KK and get rekt by 65dd that turned a straight.
Playing the $5.50+1R to the $82 hyper, first hand there I open A8dd 458ss flop b 60% 4x turn b 70% pot As river he bet pot maybe should get away but I had a fish tag on the player.
Did a Rebuy with my last cents.
Playing from my phone have 12% battery left and a really bad phone battery quality - lol.
Busto, for now.
Rn talking to my friend M that works at Google, he is my childhood friend.
Will ask for a small loan.
