Online dating thread

rickroll paid me. my DMs were messed up. all is good.

rickroll - how'd things turn out with that woman you were seeing? Was she the same one you posted about in a different thread that had some hot takes re: trans women?

Please no trans debate in here

appreciate it

no that was the marine biologist who i liked hanging out with but wasn't attracted to - we've actually became friends and hung out a bunch before she left the country due to trump winning lol

i just brought it up in the other thread because that's as left as left can be a female harvard educated working scientist - literally leaving the country to take a university position abroad out of protest of trump's victory and yet still wouldn't support trans woman competing in women's collegiate sports since that was something very dear to her

things are going very well - very interesting dynamic as she hasn't really seen the real me yet since I came out here on a road trip and got shanghai'd into staying by my friends who needed help with childcare a few times a week and i haven't seen the real her yet either given i've yet to meet her children

so it's all kind of based on false images of each other - which i think complicates things because it would be irresponsible to be frequently hanging out when children are around unless we were very serious and you can't really be very serious without knowing what her actual life is like etc etc

we're also very much both at a crossroads in life, i'm still very much a tourist in my own country and finally leaving the sticks of maine and she's finally free from a disaster of a marriage where they barely saw each other and even had separate bedrooms the last 5 years - i'm the first person she's even had a single date with since the divorce etc

for a couple that's only been together for a month it's about as serious as it could be, ie we've already discussed what the general logisitics of being together would entail etc and established that she wants more children - which is definitely key for me as i think i would struggle with raising someone else's kids without having any of my own in the mix

but overall things going as well as possible and i can see a future with her - which is weird because a month ago i just wanted to find someone and lock in on that and now that i've kinda begun that process i'm suddenly finding my thoughts drawn to all the other women who i now can't sleep with - grass is always greener

but she's super chill, very funny - like not even on a "for a girl" scale, she is constantly making me laugh and i really enjoy talking to her and on top of that find her very attractive and we have very good bedroom chemistry as well

but it's quite the adjustment - certain positions are much more difficult, others much better - but i definitely miss being able to just pick up and rag doll into new positions and contortions (even picking her up and lifting is awkward because it really throws off my center of gravity and i quickly get unbalanced) but it's also good inspiration to get ripped so i can be strong enough to do it with her as well 😀

frankly, having dated women who are 5'10" and 5'9" before, i gotta say the gap between that height and 6' is size of delaware both physically for grabbing/cuddling but also just standing next to etc so i'm finally a bit more sympathetic to the woman who draw a line in the sand demanding that height because it really does make a big difference

learned my lesson years ago not to post real pics because so many lurkers and randos out here so here's a ghibli inspired image of us

With eyebrows like that you can do better rick.

Rick needs a shave.

But glad Scully moved on from Mulder. I hope you two are very happy together.

This. Super famous study by David Buss, where he went to the trouble of collecting data from 45 countries. Men rate physical attractiveness more importantly than women, who take a more holistic view.

Also, men selecting women on the basis of physical attractiveness means women are more attractive than men due to selection pressure. You could test this hypothesis by having men rate men, and women rate women. Men rating men would have an extreme right skew, whereas for women it would have a similar skew to the way they rate males.

So, the OkCupid is more a reflection of the fact that women are just more attractive than men, rather than women judging more more harshly.

good stuff and you see this reflected in real life as the average gay man is in much better shape because he knows it impacts the frequency and quality of his partners who are choosing more on aesthetics than women

you regularly get conventionally attractive straight men coast by on their face and height without ever doing anything about their beer gut because for most women they already hit the minimal requirements but turn that man gay where it leads to constant rejection and he starts exercising for abs

Baseball, huh?

I think you're forgetting about bear hunters (i.e., "chubby chasers") - one thing I don't miss about doing theater was the amount of bear hunters aggressively pursuing my beer-gut self, despite me making it very clear I was straight and did not want their attention

I live in a very gay city and area and there can be 0 argument about the relative fitness, body fat levels and overall appearance of gay guys relative to straight ones.

It would be a similar mismatch to comparing LA and Manhattan women with ones from a flyover state

there's also a big subset of "seducing straights" (had a gay roommate who was convinced a lot of straight men wouldn't refuse a blowjob from a man and he did appear to have some success with that) which was probably heavily merged in this instance and more likely to manifest outwardly in a niche in which you're likely outnumbered 😀

clicked that and took me back to when this thread was truly alive and full of great chit chat

I subscribed to HingeX and all it got me was this dumb article I wrote

https://medium.com/heart-affairs/10-failed-hinge-prompt-responses-6221ab52cb99?sk=68a9eb6fe09035d3d38fe86af59a4a6a

Medium

10 Failed Hinge Prompt Responses

Guessing you’re still single?

A lot of things have gone downhill since then.

But is it two plus two traffic in general? I don't even know if it is up or down, I just check a few subscribed threads.

Is online dating worse now than seven years ago? I check the subreddits occasionally, both for specific apps and dating in general, and it all seems very depressing.

Online dating is like crushing cans these days.

https://www.similarweb.com/website/twopl...

Dubious source but 2p2 doing better in general than I would have thought. I wonder how much of that is bot traffic

I haven't heard good things coming out of the online dating channels in years, but I have also been off the market for nearly 5 years now so have minimal perspective

A lot of things have gone downhill, but dad jokes are not among them.

This one is hilarious. Would you be put off if a girl let your finger her when on her period? Had a 3rd date, we boomed on date 2 and she let me try to fuck her on her period without telling me. No notice of her being on period prior to this so I was kinda surprised.

I pull my finger out and see blood and was like wtf? Chick got mad at me and I stopped bc I instantly lost my hard on lolz. I left and she was kinda mad- she wants to try again but like not Fk on period is a huge boundary for me. She likes it so I’m kinda like wow this isn’t going to work out. Please don’t bash me here haha- not sure why she didn’t tell me. It’ seems from girls I’ve been with; most don’t want to book on their period.

Not sure how into this chick I am.

i think everyone at some point has been in a long term relationship where both sides were pretty horny and just happy to lay down a towel and then go shower together afterwards - and specifically ltrs because girls are usually too self conscious to allow that to happen until they really trust you and also don't worry about scaring you away - your reaction is specifically why most women usually shy away from that, not because they are horrified at the thought of getting nailed on the rag, but the thought of the man getting grossed out like you did

it's usually no big deal and not much of an issue with minimal blood

not saying it's a preference or anything, i usually avoid it - but that's more about cleanup/etc

i think the only thing i wouldn't want to do is go down on them during that time

but more to the point of my post, i find your response pretty childish, yes she should have let you know what you were getting into, but it's something you could have just laughed off, "oh you sneak!" kinda playfulness not "how dare you" and storm out

honestly don't really think it's a big deal at all

this is wild

update for me, things going incredibly well a few months - everything going well, it's beyond absurd, especially how we're both equally into each other and how rare that is to not have asymmetric levels of desire and affection and rarely is the partner who enthusiastically felates you and surprises you with gifts the kind of person you do the same things for with equal gusto, let alone your first pick in a mock draft

I had a friend in the military who called this earning your red wings. There were also brown wings.

She has every reason to be less into you, and likely will be moving forward.