Moderation Questions
The last iteration of the moderation discussion thread was a complete disaster. Numerous attempts to keep it on topic fa
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Aw hi friends!
Minimizing my experiences is probably not helping to change my opinion, but it’s to be expected
Men don’t listen because men don’t care. Prove me wrong 😀
Minimizing my experiences is probably not helping to change my opinion, but it’s to be expected
Men don’t listen because men don’t care. Prove me wrong 😀
Men mostly don't care, same with women. Real life isn't a fairy tale. If you can find a man or woman who does care for you, and that's useful for you, then you have something. Other than that, people are just an annoyance.
Oh please. Marilyn Frye said it best.
“To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (****ing exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex.
Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”
You kinda come up as a bit of a homophobic here.
Were you born yesterday?
Did someone sell you a romanticized world view and you got angry that it was a construct?
Minimizing my experiences is probably not helping to change my opinion, but it’s to be expected
Men don’t listen because men don’t care. Prove me wrong 😀
No one is trying to change your opinion but there is no reason to give your personal experiences any greater weight on the issue. Channeling your inner Rickroll is normally not a very compelling method to prove your thesis.
Oh please. Marilyn Frye said it best.“To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (****ing exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profou
I love it when the second wave feminist “hate all men” types show their asses as homophobes. Are we a couple posts away from talking about how JK Rowling did nothing wrong?
Fellas, it is gay to have profound friendships with men?
I worry that the average intelligence of the population is a lot lower than we all assume it to be based on your collective critical reading skills…
But anyway, good job guys showing you’re not the exception, you’re the rule. Hence, why we don’t like you anymore. ♥
I worry that the average intelligence of the population is a lot lower than we all assume it to be based on your collective critical reading skills…
But anyway, good job guys showing you’re not the exception, you’re the rule. Hence, why we don’t like you anymore. ♥
“Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving“
Nice deflection on the homophobic screed you just posted.
So this is why I don't post in this forum.
Nothing in that quote was homophobic, you’re just grasping at anything you can use to dismiss the content of the philosophy, or you’re too stupid to tell the difference. Neither would be surprising.
Men see with arrogant eyes which organize everything seen with reference to themselves and their own interests.
And the obscene irony of it all is none of you seem to be aware of it when you’re doing it. It’s fascinating to witness.
This is why i do post in this forum. You dont often meet people like this on every street corner.
And Marilyn Frye is a lesbian, you ****wits
Nothing in that quote was homophobic, you’re just grasping at anything you can use to dismiss the content of the philosophy, or you’re too stupid to tell the difference. Neither would be surprising.Men see with arrogant eyes which organize everything seen with reference to themselves and their own interests. And the obscene irony of it all is none of you seem to be aware of it
I find it hilarious how far you are going to justify “hey it’s kinda gay how men admire other men lmao” as some deep insight rather than the most classic homophobic trope there is
I don’t feel like wasting my time trying to teach theory to a monkey, so let’s just ask ChatGPT 😀
It’s not surprising that sharing this Marilyn Frye quote provoked a strong reaction—it’s a provocative critique, and it challenges how many men think about their relationships, sexuality, and social dynamics. That doesn’t automatically make it homophobic, though, and calling it that may reflect discomfort more than a reasoned critique.
What Frye Is Saying
Frye is critiquing heteropatriarchal culture, not individuals’ sexual orientations. Her point is that many straight men in patriarchal societies:
Reserve emotional depth, admiration, and genuine respect for other men.
Relate to women primarily through roles of service, sexuality, or traditional femininity.
Reproduce a system where the deepest human connections (love, loyalty, respect) exist largely between men—even when sexual relationships are with women.
That, she argues, makes heterosexual male culture “homoerotic” in a broad, cultural—not sexual—sense. She’s not accusing straight men of being closeted or sexually attracted to men; rather, she’s observing that much of the emotional energy of straight men is centered around other men.
Why Some Might Call It Homophobic
Some men may interpret this as:
Implying that male bonding is "gay" in a negative way.
Suggesting that there’s something shameful or suspect about men loving and admiring other men.
Equating admiration or emotional intimacy between men with eroticism, which can feel like it's pathologizing male friendship.
But Frye is doing none of that to shame men—she’s revealing how emotional intimacy with women is often underdeveloped in male culture, due to structural gender roles.
So Is It Homophobic?
No, not in any reasonable reading. If anything, Frye’s quote is a feminist analysis of how patriarchy constrains both women and men emotionally. It’s not about policing sexuality or mocking same-gender intimacy—it’s about showing how narrow emotional roles create a culture where women are sexual partners, but men are emotional centers.
How You Might Respond
If you're being accused of being homophobic for sharing it, you might say something like:
"This quote isn't about mocking same-gender love or implying that emotional intimacy between men is bad—it's critiquing how patriarchy often prevents men from forming deep, respectful emotional bonds with women. It's more a call for expanding emotional depth with everyone, not narrowing it."
If you'd like help crafting a reply or want to unpack this further, I'm happy to help.
And don’t think I didn’t notice that your collective reaction to this critique crossed the political aisle.
The quote was from her collection of essays, The Politics of Reality.
Some of you so called “good guys” maybe need to take a moment to reflect.
