Suitedjustice's Ongoing Mid-life Crisis

Truth

Well, I watched the movie JCVD, which was great, and then I stumbled across a show called Jean-Claude Van Johnson, where he also plays himself—because why waste a good idea?

I've added the show to my media long list, as it's only a few episodes.

It pisses me off that AI programs are using the em dash as a hallmark of their writing style. I love the em dash—regular readers know that—Mark Twain used a lot of them, along with semicolons. I probably ripped off both of them from him.

The last thing I want is to be mistaken for an AI, but it's too late for me to change my style; or maybe it's not to late, but I don't want to.

I need to check out JCVD ; yep, that was the show. A pretty decent watch

Get mistaken for Twain instead.

When will you play some poker again, Suited?

I can only write like me, but I can get better.

I will return tomorrow and through the weekend. My windfall money is gone, and there's no more on the way. Here's hoping for some chip porn pic opportunities.

the whole experience is so exceptional
mustard took an outer body experience to even thunk of trying to skin a hot dog let along some skunk

I've had only one out of body experience. That was in court, while on trial. I cover that in [U]Nit-tastic Tales[/U], post #114, for anyone who hasn't seen that thread.

I have seen Jesus in the sky, giving me a disappointed look, probably because of the acid binge; but who knows, maybe he was disappointed in general. But that doesn't count as an out of body experience.

Tonight I returned to the casino for a few hours. I did a slot sweep and I sat down for some poker. Nothing spectacular to report about either venture—I won a little—it was a small but important step to go back. Now I just need to take the next one, tomorrow.

Such an epic story. I bought the book of short stories that you had been published in but I had to get rid of it when I moved. You need to post that version of the story here.

Thanks, Da_Nit!. I appreciate you, brother.

People can find the story at the link above. I don't need to post it again.

This morning a large transformer or a fuse or something jumbo-sized and electrical near my apartment blew up with the sound of a quarter stick of dynamite, and I was without power, so I trundled off to the casino and secured a quick hundo from the machines.

Tonight, I would like to try another slot run, now that I'm finished playing freeroll tourneys on America's Card Room.

You see, I haven't been completely avoiding poker these last few weeks; I've been playing a bunch of freerolls on ACR, fighting against steep odds to win a big ticket to a substantial online tournament.

The problem is: I have to win 3 satellites in a row in order to earn a big ticket.

The first round of satties on ACR is free, and I compete in a field of 250 players for between 4 and 10 winning spots. A very few satties pay 50 spots, but these—being capped at 250 runners—fill up so quickly that with Old Man Laptop I'd need some sort of auto-seating script in order to consistently reg before they close.

In the first round satty, I start with 10bb, facing steep two-minute blind levels, and the rules of the tourney allow me to take only two actions: go all-in or fold. That's right: shove, reshove, or fold.

It's a flippament.

Is it poker? No.
Is it fun? Hell yes.

Spoiler

Show

Gambelina got me into these all-in or fold freerolls, henceforth referred to as aiofs. If she's playing, we'll text encouragements back and forth, although I have knocked her out a couple of times. Chivalry is dead.

The second round of satties consists of standard super turbo tourneys, and they are mandatory to the aiof winners. When I win an aiof, I am automatically regged into a specific round two satty; I have to play that one, or I will lose my ticket. I can't just save the ticket for whatever I want. I have to get on the very next bus or I will lose my ride.

Regular players can buy in to the second round tourneys for amounts ranging from $1.05 to $66.00. We aiof winners act as warm bodies for these satties, so that they'll have enough players to go off.

If there's no overlay, then 1 out of 10 players go on to the third round of satties. Once again, aiofers are automatically regged into the next associated tournament. If I unreg, then I lose that ticket. If the third round satty doesn't get enough players to go off, then I also lose that ticket and get zero compensation for it, and all my struggles in the first two rounds go for naught.

The latter scenario has happened a few times, but not enough times to make me quit. In this world, you often get what you pay for, especially if it's free.

If I win the third satty, then I get a coveted $109 or $215 or $660 ticket, and I don't have to use that one on the next available tournament. I can save it for up to a year, and pick my poison.

I have been to a half dozen or so round threes, but I've never won one, so all of this has been a colossal waste of time...so far.

Seems like you pasted your text twice.

Thanks, uberkuber. Fortunately, it didn't get past my obsessive copy editor.

I saw and read that. I thought you had expanded the story slightly for the one that was published?

I made a solid editing pass on it, and the editor of the anthology did some copy editing on it as well, but it's essentially the same story.

The Dry 2024-2025 Challenge Update

2024
January: ✓
February: ✓
March: ✓
April: ✓
May: ✓
June: ✓
July: ✓
August: ✓
September: ✓
October: ✓
November: ✓
December: ✓

2025
January: ✓
February: ✓
March:✓
April: ✓
May: ✓
June: ✓
July: ✓
August: ✓
September: UNLOCKED

I am considering ending the challenge in January, at the two-year mark. To me that seems a sufficient amount of time in which to have learned some coping and living skills in an alcohol-free context; however, for this to happen, I'll need to meet two conditions.

(1) I'll have to be showing up for work on a regular basis, and not staying home for large blocks of time playing video games and freerolls.

(2) I'll need to have kept up with the exercise routine and progressed to be noticeably less potato-shaped than I am now. Showing up for work will help with that; I cover 2 miles (3.2 km) on a standard slot run night, and I already have a solid muscle base beneath the fat.

After I end the challenge, I'd still like to schedule long alcohol-free breaks into my life. I had previously floated taking off spring and fall from drinking, and I'd like to put that into place next year.

If you're going to start drinking again, I will give you the biggest infraction in the history of 2+2.

Jokes aside, I think it would be a shame to end the challenge. Doesn't it get easier with every booze-free month?

Proud of you. Don't drink. It's not worth it. Your skin is far too fair and beautiful.

do
not
imbibe
only detriment

Drinking can be fun
However, it can suck too
Refrigerator

woah, i somehow forgot you published it all - since we allow self promotion now, please post a link to buy it 😀

Love you guys! We'll see...as my parents used to say when they weren't going to give me what I wanted.

[U]Here[/U] but I don't think it's worth $17 for the paperback.

I got it on Kindle for free when it came out, but it looks like Amazon has since enshittified that deal and made it $3 unless you pay a subscription to their premium Kindle thing that they used to give away for free.

My pen name in that anthology is Garza and the Supermutants, referencing an obscure Fallout 3 glitch.