"The Pen:" Live NLHE Chat Thread

I hurt my lats deadlifting last week. **** this getting old ****.

Debating if I should start taking gear at some point. Have never taken anything before but it's tempting.

Been stuck at 465/565 for squat/DL for some months and because of some minor injuries I keep getting weaker instead of stronger.

could not believe how long it took for you or rob to post while people were talking about working out 😀

how's the private game scene or sticking to the casinos?

I quit private games a while ago.

I had a $650K upswing followed by a $250K downswing but I also squandered a ton of money doing stupid **** and also am owed a bunch of money that I'll never get back so I came out of it basically no better than where I started. It sucks.

I used to play in fairly big private games in the DC area - not getting paid can be a real risk and painful. Fortunately I mostly played in games where the host/owner stood behind the dollars. When we moved I stayed in touch with some buddies and was talking to one. When I asked how he was doing he said "well I've been winning but my accounts receivable are over 100k". Unfortunately he never got most of it.

SABR,

Eventually you max out, those weights are super heavy already why not drop down to 75% and work on form for a while, you won’t lose any fitness.

I don't think I've reached my potential yet, but fair point I do get impatient sometimes and always go heavy.

if you don't already, you should follow guythatgoestodagym in health and fitness. he's a bodybuilder now and no longer a powerlifter but he's extremely knowledgeable re enhancing and goes into a lot of details on the chems he uses in terms of type, dosage etc. He does do coaching too and I reckon he would be a great resource to PM and get some advice from

I am also an expert in hormone augmentation [emoji23]

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the tragedy of dealing with bookies as well - on losing weeks they message you first thing monday morning asking when to clear - on winning weeks they ignore you until you reach out and then they say "i'm slow on collections this week will get on it in small batches soon"

currently owed about 20k by one guy

i'm optimistic though because yesterday when i pinged him again he asked me to make a zelle request so i went from having his first name, phone number, paypal, & venmo to now having his full name, email, & banking info - he'd be incredibly stupid to volunteer that extra info just prior to stiffing

having said that - have yet to receive a payment - he's been good though historically, been on him for almost a year now and he's paid out over 40k to date

but having said that, all bookies usually drop you at some point, and usually when they do you never get the last few payments

Just checked out the last couple of pages of his thread. Dude is an absolute shredded beast.

nvm checked and it is evo - sweet, glad he's back

I'll start with the process of realization. I came to terms with being trans May 1st, 2022.

My son was born December 2021. I started HRT December 2022.

I was 38, and from losing my dad at a young age and having more or less a sub optimal upbringing (mom struggled ldo) I always wanted to be "a good dad" since it was something that I never had the opportunity to truly experience.

Looking back it's obvious, and I more or less realized I was trans in 2013 and said "**** that." Like what a huge pain in the ass.

Once my son was born and I basically had everything I had dreamed of, basically ran out of distractions besides my son and it was in being a parent that I basically realized that I couldn't be the parent I wanted to be (the best parent I could be) if I lived this lie.

My ex was and is very supportive. My mom has been very supportive, which surprised me, but I kind of have this huge leverage over her which is my son.

I am convinced if I had any idea what being trans was when I was in middle school and high school I would have transitioned much earlier and while some might argue otherwise: you simply aren't me and I might have a better understanding of my life and who I am than you do.

I had to quit my job and got a job working remote (with a big pay raise) as I was doing a bunch of work in rural Missouri schools doing project development.

It was am very public tbh, I was the president of the Association of Energy Engineers in KC until this year and like I am pretty well known in the local industry.

My big problem was that I hated working remote, especially in my industry. Turns out a **** product for the client, so I started applying for new jobs.

I had several interviews where I knew I was a great fit and got passed over but it was all small firms or working as a design engineer for like a design-build firm where Id be interacting on a co-equal level with the contracting staff. I am willing to accept that it was because of my salary requirements that they said no, but we all play poker here and don't need to "know" to not or less have pretty accurate conception of what is going on.

My current job has been very supportive and I'm very client facing. I have gotten sent on some pretty hilarious jobs like working on a very small project for the local catholic church in a very well to do area and like it was obvious during the meeting that the person next to me knew I was trans but that several others didn't. It is what it is.

I'm going to do a site visit for prison project this week and like it's technically illegal for me to use the women's restroom or enter into women's spaces by KS law. It's absurd. My company gave me the contact info in case I get arrested, although I'm sure I'll be fine.

This is also an issue when I do gymnastics with my toddler but say **** it and go into the women's restroom. It wouldn't be weird for me to go into the men's restroom since I have my son, but he's in diapers and it would be weird since he's not using the bathroom.

I had to tell my co worker who is an electrical engineer (who I have caught on numerous times checking me out) to not tell any of the staff that I'm trans when we are on site. He was shocked at hearing this because he had no idea I'm trans. I was shocked at hearing this lol.

Honestly, hate to say it, but I'm drop dead gorgeous. My big fear was that I was going to like look ridiculous or manly or need surgeries and that's just not what happened. Still changing too but it is what it is.

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yes. And he's Aspy as well which is good for content as he goes into huge detail about his training, nutrition and enhancing.

I've changed my training since reading his blog and am now following higher volume hypertrophy approach with slightly lower weights. Once I got through the ego jolt of using eg 66lb DBs vs 75lb ones and being happy using more dumbbells and machines vs constantly using barbells, it's been a more enjoyable way to training and has been very good for my joints

As for a pic, if you know me you can find me on linkedin.

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thanks for sharing and obvs I wish you all the very best moving forward

I can't imagine how challenging the process of talking to your wife and family would have been. is this the major reason for marriage break up?

re 2013 realisation...you would have been I'm guessing mid 20s? I'm guessing this doesn't mean that you didn't feel 'out of place' (sorry for terminology fail) as a kid and in teens, but more that this was a broader maturing of it as a 'fact' and a 'this explains how/why I've been feeling up to now?

11t - congrats on living your best true authentic life.

KC? I enjoyed the poker games there, have a really good friend who lives there, and have to go back within a few months to cash some superbowl tickets before they expire

you play any live poker there?

Talking to my wife was easy, we talked about this before marriage (she had brought it up) and no, we were both openly bisexual. It was not a major reason, or even really a factor for our breakup is basically accurate but like its such a massive data point that actually omitting it is likely poor analysis.

We broke up due to her depression and me having to be a bitch to her to basically force her to go to the doctor and get help and then (she's doing very well now) we basically agreed we wanted to part ways.

Being trans literally wasn't something that was ever discussed, and honestly being bisexual "didn't exist" until the 1990's so like me being trans was never something i could really realize until later and like my big fear was that it was some sort of sexual fetish which I dismissed in 2013 but like I had a career to build. Transitioning then likely would have ended my career.

As for kids and like feeling out of place, I was always into punk rock and had friends. Just being weird and young was something I accepted. Knowing that I was trans and being unable to transition would have been ****ing awful.

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Yes everybody knows who I am.

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cool, i'll reach out when i'm there and perhaps we'll cross paths

also given your industry, decent chance you may know the person i'll be staying with as he's in charge of bizdev for enel green power out there iirc

i know we didn't know each other previously, but i'm happy you've found happiness

This one pretty much happened to me naturally over the past several years. lower reps just hurt all over. So the reps have been creeping up and the weight has been going down. I have found that fitness like the perfessional gambool you have to be humble, letting the ego get in there will just mess things up.

my first time ever in the gym i saw i muscle bound dude push for his personal best and he really hurt himself - it definitely scared me and i've always took it easy on the total amount of weight and just did my thing

was definitely embarassing at times when someone 50 pounds lighter than you in on the bench next to you doing 2x the weight you are, especially since the way i carry my weight i look much stronger than i actually am, but i soon grew out of that insecurity and am now happily the big wimp in the gym

On the subject of why I should not be posting on 2p2 I appear to have uncovered somebody who, unbeknownst to themselves, believes the devil is God. Just shocking.

I asked what they thought would happen when they die and their response was that we simply all go to hell and that God sorts it out.

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Let me know when you’re in CSprings. If it happens to be on a day there is a game going (highly likely it will be) I’ll get us in.