"The Pen:" Live NLHE Chat Thread

I haven’t seen that screen name but that would be him. He’s not doing it on tpt with me - is he on here asking for a stake or Sth?

It’s a sad story and I do have empathy because he was a decent guy in real life, but there are far more worthy recipients of charity. He’s steadfastedly insisted on working the minimum hours to survive over the past decade, never thought about trying to save or done anything about his health and then started begging for cash as soon as he lost a job or needed money. I sent him a few hundred about 5 years ago and he tweeted the next day about his UberEats 30 chicken nuggets order.

That's his new screen name. He pretty much only posts in the vegas vlogger thread, as far as I know. I haven't seen him ask for anything publicly. You must be special!

sale of my house went through today and I am finally separated physically and financially from my wife of 20 years. Somewhat long post incoming which is a repeat/addition of stuff from my fitness thread

not sure how much I've posted but my wife developed alcoholism 3/4/5 years ago (hard to pinpoint because it was hidden/lied about). It had become basically a non relationship but I stayed with her because of the kids, the fear of the financial implications of divorce and primarily because I thought it was right for me to wait for her to get better and then see what was left of the marriage. You've got to Pick and Stick with friendships IMO and marriage is the biggest of the lot after kids

So I entered 2024 with an already alcoholic wife who was a liability in many ways organisationally and I was already doing most of the parenting but in 2024 I (in order)

- finally realised I had to split with wife after she totally melted down on our 20th wedding anniversary, drank all day in bed, got in a cab went to a hotel while paralytic drunk and announced via text to the family group chat that she was leaving me
- that night my daughter showed me some screen shots she'd seen (3 months earlier) of the wife doing sex talk (graphic and pages of it) showing she was having an affair with a bloke from rehab

that was where the fun started and I also then....

- discovered she was also a coke addict
- discovered she had siphoned 6 figures from family bank accounts into her private accounts to fund this addiction
- discovered she was also paying 5 figures per month from the business bank account into her private accounts for the same purposes
- I then had to renovate and paint a 5 bed house before we could sell it with basically no money due to above, handling all tradesman negotiations, management, supervision etc
- had to live with stealing, lying, addicted wife for 10 months while doing this because no money for her to move out
- had to run a business in **** economic times and be the main parent to 3 teenagers, while also protecting the kids from the worst of it
- had to manage entire negotiation and house selling process with agents etc
- had to manage renovation and sale of UK property to fund house sale here and for divorce settlement
- work through the not inconsiderable tax and FX details of getting that money to Australia
- had to negotiate child supervision and all financial separation details with ex and her lawyer and I've managed to get (by Australian standards) a very good deal, by only having to give her 51% of combined wealth

The house sale was agreed in early Nov and all legals were finished today

The ex today will receive a 7 figure amount to her including 51% of the house and also be receiving 51% of my retirement $$.

Fortunately, I've had the funeral for the $$ and my financial dreams and I've accepted the reality of it. I won't ever be 'rich' by the standards of most successful people, but I should be able to continue living where we (very expensive area, but I love it here) are and keeping my kids stable. And who knows what the future brings?

We are almost there. Ex wife moved to a small apartment. I've moved to a bigger one and the kids are all with me (son will be 50:50 with his mother but both daughter get the choice and will be with me).

It's been an absolute nightmare year and it's been tough on me mental health wise and has made running a small business successfully almost impossible - I had the worst year in 15+ years last year but....was a bigger problem than it needed to be because of all the money she'd siphoned from it. Luckily the house did very well and I should be able to find an apartment to buy so I can stay near my family and friends and on the all important property ladder in Australia.

I'm pretty proud of how I've managed everything and I've drawn more confidence in my strength and also my 'value' as a man if that makes sense. But I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Two quick points....
- if you have a friend who is divorcing...particularly when there are kids and complications... check in with them way more than you think you should. it's a very difficult process and you really do notice and value the people who stay in touch
- if you have a friend who is married to an addict, ffs force them to not trust them anymore. and I mean FORCE. I feel dumb now, but I still thought I was married to the same woman....just one with an addiction. But addictions are truly gnarly things and they get control and subvert the people they get inside of. My ex was a good person, just totally controlled by something horribly toxic

xx

sounds awful feely, i think i finally found someone who has had more runbad in relationships than i did

i know we've spoken about this before, but i really don't think a lot of people reading that understand the true degree of difficulty in living with a partner who is hiding a substance abuse problem from you

it removes all trust and you never want to leave them unattended and it makes you captive to them

mine bankrupted me as well, all i had when i got out of it 3 years ago was the money i had in my dfs accounts, everything else was squandered by her (which is bonkers because her family is insanely wealthy, for her to have made me whole would take a text message to dad etc but obviously never happened)

when i first left her, i wasn't thinking of her but rather thinking how nice it was i didn't have to babysit her anymore

worst part is that over time, i don't think of all the terrible things she did as those kind of fade away and just think of the stunningly beautiful woman who at times was the incredibly charming and loving person who i decided to spend 5 years of my life travelling the globe with -

i view that as a positive in terms of inner zen, that my subconscious memories of that time are far more pleasant than reality, but it makes me legit terrified that in a moment of weakness i may try to make another attempt at making it work

Holy ****, that's ****ing brutal. Good job on steering your way through that absolute craziness.

Congratulations on the next big step. It is the beginning of the end.

Man, I am sorry you had to deal with all that, feely. I can't even imagine. I've been through a divorce, but it was nothing like that. I'm glad you are through the brutal times. In my limited experience, there will still be some dark days, so don't get down on yourself when that happens, but it should be getting better now.

Yeah, best wishes feel wrath. Thinking along the lines of what Garick wrote, keep looking forward to the better times which are surely coming.

Glad you're coming out the other side feely.

Im glad you seem at peace now, feely.

That’s a lot of adversity to overcome, and I know it had been stressing you for quite some time.

Thanks boys

I’m very lucky that I haven’t for one second regretted or questioned the need to separate since the decision was made. If I had, I think the past year would have been almost impossible.

The text she sent and then the pics I saw were actually a release. I hadn’t been happy for years but hadn’t felt I could leave. Once that day happened, it was like ‘no choice now’ and I haven’t once questioned it

Geez feely, we knew it was complicated but holy crap that's a lot to have to endure.

So when are we all getting feely hammered in LV?

Feely - I’m proud of you man. You’ve alluded to some of these things over the years, but clearly held back a lot of crazy details.

Sending you positive vibes from across the globe.

You’ve done the work to put your children in a safe space and I’ve got mad respect for you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Feely - that poast was a tough read brother. I am glad that you and yer kids were able to survive the whole ordeal and can start moving foreword.

ooof brutal even though I knew a bit of it

[quote=prairiebreeze]So when are we all getting feely hammered in LV?[/quote]

THIS.

I’m approved for June 12 - July 1.

I have a refundable hotel booking for mid to late June for when I think the Senior's will be on...pending the release of the schedule

tbh though, Ive hardly played any poker for the past few years, to the lure of Vegas and wsop has never been more diminished. But I'll need a break at some point

And I’m in Germany June 18-28. The youngest Breeze is qualified for world championships so we are going.

No WSOP for me again this year. WPT again instead.

what sport?

With an attitude like this you’ll min-cash absolutely nothing mate

FW that sounds like a flippin nightmare. Glad it's finished, may you find some peace after all of that.

Consider the money lost, money well spent on sanity and a slice of normalcy, Feely. You can’t put a price on getting your life back. Unfortunately you’ll have to deal with the kid visitation stuff, and other things, but if she’s as bad as you say she is that stuff will eventually work itself out in your favor.

On another note, and to keep it a bit light because laughter is the best medicine:

Cheers, mate

Why were you such a PITA when she wanted to leave?

i would not be opposed to a plan where all the single penners should just move in together and live as hetero life mates