Quantum Entanglement (A Love Story)
1pm
West Detroit
Feeling: Solid, yet wobbly
With 11 hours left in the day, and no plans to nap, I feel comforted by what may or may not transpire. I felt it in my head a few days ago, like the cortisol had leveled off and I was all of a sudden prone to sleeping well throughout the day. A few months ago my sleep had been hazardous at best, and then I started taking magnesium and falling sleep started becoming a regular thing, but not long after my sleep had stunted itself at not lasting longer than 2 hours per sleep cycle. It's very unpleasant trying to stack 4 sleep cycles on top of one another during the night, so I gave up trying and settled on something more polyphasic -- getting naps in throughout the day. I had faith things would improve and this past week it has shown to be just that.
TL;DR
Cliffs - Sleeping well again
Have you ever heard the words
I'm singing in these songs?
It's for the girl I've loved all along
Can a taste of love be so wrong
As all things must surely have to end
And great loves will one day have to part
I know that I am meant for this world
And in my mind as I was floating
Far above the clouds
Some children laughed I'd fall for certain
For thinking that I'd last forever
But I knew exactly where I was
And I knew the meaning of it all
And I knew the distance to the sun
And I knew the echo that is love
And I knew the secrets in your spires
And I knew the emptiness of youth
And I knew the solitude of heart
And I knew the murmurs of the soul
And the world is drawn into your hands
And the world is etched upon your heart
And the world so hard to understand
Is the world you can't live without
And I knew the silence of the world
"Causing major damage to your kidneys and pancreas, well under 5% chance"
So....like....2%???? that's well under.
So a bad river card away from ruining your life.
I clocked in at 182 lbs at the doctor yesterday while wearing sandals and clothing.
So 180.
I was over 210 in January.
My sleep has finally gotten to where I've wanted it to be.
I feel otherwise much healthier than I did previously.
My friend asked me what motivated me.
I thought back to a convo I had with a nurse early in the year.
He was a cool dude. He told me I was too big. He told me there were short women who are heavier than me, but he put me in the same category as them!
I was like, "Alright, I've heard enough."
Then I lost the weight.
I know I've already won because the wheels have fallen off my dieting wagon (a couple of different times) and I have yet to put back on "the weight". I flatlined at 185lbs for the past 2 months for example.
"Causing major damage to your kidneys and pancreas, well under 5% chance"
So....like....2%???? that's well under.
So a bad river card away from ruining your life.
Tuma, you bad acting Rudy Poo! Color me this:
What are the chances of having major damage to your kidneys following a lifetime of obesity?
Spoiler
~100%
I have a friend who is largely obese.
He was bigger than the other kids when he was young and he never lost the weight.
For the longest time he started his day with a regular Pepsi and a fast food breakfast.
Anyway I saw him a few weeks ago randomly and he's in pretty bad shape.
He said he had a TIA "mini stroke" (a brief stroke with no damage basically) caused by his medicine that cranks up his blood pressure.
He said he's on meds for a kidney disease.
I GPT'd it and he's likely in really bad shape. Age 42 about. Problems stemming from a lifetime of being obese.
I can tell he may have lost a few lbs, but he's still really big.
I wish him well.
The sustained pain of being pretty hungry over time does not compare to the psychological -- not to mention the physical pain -- of organ distress and failure. It just doesn't, that stuff is infinite amounts of pain.
The pain of hunger is pretty logarithmic. It has a peak to it, and it comes in waves. It's so far from the end of the world it's not even funny, and you can train yourself to get used to it.
People have unfortunately (WW2, etc.) gone years being undernourished and extremely hungry and some made it out okay.
It's hard to be hungry and work at the same time, but it's possible. And really do-able. Imo.
It's like, you're hungry. It's a problem. You have work to do, it is hard, such is the nature of work. You need fuel. So you:
A) Wolf down 2 hardboiled eggs, not really filling you up.
B) Wolf down an entire meal.
Outcome?
You will adapt to the eggs! They will hit the bloodstream and satiate!
The work gets done in both cases.
Vanity Fair: How did u do it?
Tuma: I got f*cking fed up.
Tuma: I failed at dieting so many times.
Tuma: I felt ashamed. I felt like the biggest loser.
Tuma: Eventually the pain of being a loser became greater than the temporary pain of being hungry.
Tuma: At this point it wasn't that hard. I was built for dedication.
Tuma: I crafted a simple diet and stuck to it.
Tuma: Oatmeal, salad kid + chicken, lean cuisine. Largely. And repeat.
This is what you get.... When the OP (your hero) gets 2 consecutive nights of perfect (8 hours) sleep.
A stream of conscience that is both interesting and fun to write about...
....And we have crashed the party....
This is what you get...
This is what you get...
This is what you get...
When you mess with me.
I swear >50% of people use chatgpt/ai for every single post they make on LinkedIn.
Some people are dumb enough even to keep the -- in the post, so that it telegraphs to everyone else what they're doing.
Quoting this from a LC thread.
You'd think people couldn't be any dumber.
I can't imagine being a poor writer in the present, handcuffing myself to a GPT for communicative purposes.
Giving up your authentic thought -- Not being able to tell how shitty AI is at writing currently -- and just blabbering whatever the output is.....an absolutely pathetic existence.
Not to mention dystopian, and possibly freightening.
Nobody really knows the exact direction AI will be taking.
You're signing your life away by using AI to write for you.
Suckers.
Mclovin is prolly the best Writer I personally know.
I would say he is a natural writer. Or, he was writing well from a young age.
At least younger than me. His entire time on 2p2 is filled with excellence with a pen.
I was a poor communicator in 2006. More problematic was I was also purely stupid. The two kind of go hand-in-hand.
Yes, empirical research supports a genuine, nuanced correlation between the bipolar spectrum and creativity, though the link to generalized "genius" or high general intelligence is more complex and frequently misunderstood. Creativity vs. General IntelligenceThe Creative Connection: Large-scale registry studies (such as comprehensive population analyses out of Sweden) and smaller clinical cohorts consistently find an overrepresentation of bipolar disorder among individuals in eminently creative professions, such as writers, poets, and visual artists. First-degree relatives of individuals with bipolar disorder also show higher-than-average rates of creative achievement, even if they do not have the disorder themselves. The Intelligence Distinction: When looking strictly at general intelligence (measured via standardized IQ tests), the direct correlation breaks down or inverts. Large population data sets tracking cognitive scores and psychiatric hospitalizations show that severe, debilitating psychiatric comorbidity correlates with lower cognitive functioning. However, sub-clinical traits—such as verbal fluency, divergent thinking (the ability to generate multiple unique solutions), and specific cognitive styles—frequently overlap with the temperament markers of the bipolar spectrum. The "Inverted-U" and Shared GeneticsResearchers model this relationship using an inverted-U curve. According to this framework, certain cognitive and temperamental advantages—like heightened associative thinking, elevated energy, and broader emotional range—increase alongside a baseline genetic vulnerability or mild expression of bipolar traits (such as cyclothymic or hypomanic temperaments).However, once that vulnerability crosses a threshold into full-blown, severe clinical pathology, the compounding cognitive disruption, executive dysfunction, and depressive weight actively impair productivity and creative output. Furthermore, genetic linkage studies indicate that healthy individuals and patients with bipolar disorder share specific common genetic variations (such as polymorphisms in risk genes like NRG1) that influence neuroplasticity and neural connectivity, predisposing the brain toward novel, unconstrained conceptual associations.
If you are more bipolar than like a 1 or a 2, you absolutely need medication to be a highly functioning individual.
I'm a 9 bordering on 10 without medicine.
It's just past the 5-year anniversery of my last release from a psychiatric unit.
5 Years man. I expect that to be a watershed moment in the world of psychiatry.
I'm ****ing fixed.
Mostly.
