A raging fish on a heater
Intro,
A memoir of a degen:
I've always loved to gamble, and I have done so since I was a kid. It did not start of very w
Thats me eh.
Unfortunately bust in the $82 hyper.
Managed to get two $20 bounties.
Got $5 left and a $3.30 sat.
Busted with q8dd vs a2cc, he hit a flush on the river in a 4 way pot where one was Allin for a ****ing bounty. Could have quadrupled up almost of like 8bb....
Yeah Kthxbai back to my final table.
What buyin is your final table? How much up top?
Embrace the variance LFG!!!!
You should learn boxing so if the debt collectors come to your door you smash them and tell them not to come back like niko did in GTA4
Also do straight4pay. gay4pay is too gay 4 u.
Do you have a BB or chips graph to share with the world?
I believe OP is capable of winning big just he needs proper bankroll management, even if he wins a million dollar tomorrow next day he will be broke and miserable because he will always play bigger buy-in tourneys possible disregarding his bankroll
Do they still have $3 or $5 sngs that start at a quick pace? Back in the day 8-12 tabling those was a good way to build a bankroll fast with relatively low variance. Especially the 45 and 180 man sngs
Op has no graph, check some pages backwards of my miserable sharkscope graph.
There was unfortunately no final-table, there was only my final table like my last and final table which I promptly busted.
I got a hold on $10 which I promptly torched in 10nl PLO, because I wanted to run it up to exactly $11 for a stacKOaurus satty, ended up losing it all making an atrocious call with a 8 hi flush against river checkjam on a paired board (holding two boat blockers, he still had AKXX ON Aa5xk board).
So Yeah rn asked a colleague for $11, he might or might not ship it to me. I already owe him $61.
Yeah I worked today as well, 10.00-14.30 - that was ok.
That was it from me rn k thx and bai.
ummm one time i was with a girl friend and her friend.
i had like no game at all.
suddenly i make eye contact with a chick and she is like eye ****ing me lol.
she asks if i want to follow her home and i was like no, she said **** why.
we exchange instagrams.
i eventually find out she is not a she, its a trans its a man.
like honestly if we go to her place and she pulls out a dick - i am beating the holy hell out of her/him for tricking
mean whilst typing this out i busted the first hand in the $11 satty too 215 stackosaurus.
giv pre flop all in my akdd vs jj and i spike ace on flop, jack on turn leaving me drawing stone dead.
smashed my hand against the table with maybe 65% force, made a loud smack - my neighbours will be complaining soon.
man **** my life **** my life **** MY LIFE
keep playing bro. u will win eventually do some study as well.
it ****ing feels like a pit of doom.
i am ****ed beyond ****ed.
just called my friend to ask for $50 in cash to deposit in a machine to my card but he was cycling and was done in about an hour.
had 50 cents left which i played allin poker for, got allin aqo vs q8o lol and he hit a straight and rekt me hard.
hopeless i feel beyond all salvation and saving.
f u c k my li fe
kthxbai.
it ****ing feels like a pit of doom.
i am ****ed beyond ****ed.
just called my friend to ask for $50 in cash to deposit in a machine to my card but he was cycling and was done in about an hour.
had 50 cents left which i played allin poker for, got allin aqo vs q8o lol and he hit a straight and rekt me hard.
hopeless i feel beyond all salvation and saving.
f u c k my li fe
kthxbai.
Hope for tournament victories soon bro. get the monies play the mtts and win them. how much u in to the debt sharks?
Hope for tournament victories soon bro. get the monies play the mtts and win them. how much u in to the debt sharks?
No Sharks but the Swedish last stand of debt collectors I owe like a couple of Grand I think.
Cant be arsed to even check, they might visit my home at any day.
Ik i knew I wrote i was debt free, but that was just personal debt. If i out of the roughly 4k only paid 500-600 i would have breathing room for several months.
I really never thought I ever would go broke, this is such a disaster.
On the subway on my way to the gym, **** my life. Got red lights from my backer to play a live MTT today, there was no opportunity.
Asking soon my friend for a $50 loan as I wrote in my past post, thats my final hope.
My father has sworn a vengeance against poker and wont finance me with a penny more.
That was it for now kthxbai.
No Sharks but the Swedish last stand of debt collectors I owe like a couple of Grand I think.Cant be arsed to even check, they might visit my home at any day.Ik i knew I wrote i was debt free, but that was just personal debt. If i out of the roughly 4k only paid 500-600 i would have breathing room for several months.I really never thought I ever would go broke, this is such a d
Focus on the gym bro for now. get good gains there. Get the loan. play the mtts and play good poker. hope for a win.
u got a plan bro.
dont focus on the negetives.
think and grow rich was a book fedor holz read and he likes it. theres another book for free online called the science of getting rich. think and grow rich was based on that book.
put a drawing on your wall of the target MTT you want to win. Have the money on it which u want to win. visualize yourself winning it.
Arnold did this for bodybuilding in austria in his early years for bodybuilding. conor mgregeggor does visualization as well.
i did this years ago with a Nintendo 64. i got one not knowing about any of this ****,
im going to do this as well. take my own advice.
Focus on the gym bro for now. get good gains there. Get the loan. play the mtts and play good poker. hope for a win. u got a plan bro.dont focus on the negetives.think and grow rich was a book fedor holz read and he likes it. theres another book for free online called the science of getting rich. think and grow rich was based on that book. put a drawing on your wall of the targ
i visualise a lot and try to manifest, but right now only reaping sh i t from my bad sowing.
loaned $50 which i will pay back $70, already owe him $120 so that's $190 he needs back in the end of the month.
lets hope i get money for my sick whatever shitty thing, otherwise i am capital letters F U CK E D xD
kthxbai
Everything busto.
Fml, called A9o for 9bb vs a brazilian who had the goods.
Jammed k9hh w 8 bb in mp ran into Jj And never hit anything, fml man why did I call with A9 ****ing off even though I had like 5 notes on him saying he is loose and **** but ****ING STILL **** WHY NOT GO LOW VARIANCE AND ****ING FOLD.
I AM SO ****ING FRUSTRATED.
TOOK 4 PROPAVAN AND JUST WAITING FOR MY LIGHTS TO SHUT OFF.
FU C K MY ****ING PIECE OF SH I T LIFE.
**** FUXK **** **** ****
NO KTHXBAI I AM TOO PISSED
this is a, or is it an idk an honest mans journal.
just asked my younger sister for spotify money, which I of course won't use for spotify but i will use for the $5.50+1r satty to the $82 hyper once again.
yeah kthxbai, ik im such a massive degenerate no questions about that.
so far no answers, 16 minutes left of late reg - lol
.
kthxbai
Ik i knew I wrote i was debt free, but that was just personal debt. If i out of the roughly 4k only paid 500-600 i would have breathing room for several months.
Why are you taking loans from friends to fire $50 MTTs when you’re 4k in debt to loan sharks. Incredibly irresponsible.
I would be switching to studying only, playing super small ABI just to stay sharp, and working 40hr+ a week to clear the debt if i was in your situation.
Just reads like gambling addiction at this point.
Why are you taking loans from friends to fire $50 MTTs when you’re 4k in debt to loan sharks. Incredibly irresponsible.
I would be switching to studying only, playing super small ABI just to stay sharp, and working 40hr+ a week to clear the debt if i was in your situation.
Just reads like gambling addiction at this point.
no loan sharks involved, yet - lol.
got the money from my sister got WRECKT with my ak vs aq once again 😀
2 dollars left, trying to makee it into $11.
addiction, yes.
no lying here.
kthxbai.
edit:
made my 2 dollars into $4.40 enough to sit down on 10Nl plo non zoom, lets ****ing go to $11 and then qualify to the $82 hyper and ship it and pay back all our debts shall we 😀
EDIT2:
made it into a 4way pot with KKqx one suit, and was up against three TRASH HANDS THA ****ING RIVERED ME I AM ****ING SO PISSED
**** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Thats true as well.
Overslept for work today, ****ing hell.
She who manages substitutes teachers said it was cool though and to come in at my own pace.
Man I feel like a severely beaten dog.
Morale at -1000, just depressed beyond all recognition.
**** my life, what is this mess I have nestled myself deep in.
I have rule to never deposit on online poker sites after first deposit of 50$, even if i grind it to like 2k$ and suddenly my balance goes down to 50$ (lets say) i will move down to smallest stakes possible even NL2 until i grind it back, during hot runs i withdraw moneys consistently but as soon as it goes down i move down stakes, i advice you to do the same, this way you will never have to loan money ever again, even you won't commit your own money, you will play with your money balance like your life is depended on it, if it goes to 0$ it's a tragedy, you should never allow it to happen, that's why moving down to smallest stakes will ensure you will never go busto but if your skill level allows you will move up really quickly
I have rule to never deposit on online poker sites after first deposit of 50$, even if i grind it to like 2k$ and suddenly my balance goes down to 50$ (lets say) i will move down to smallest stakes possible even NL2 until i grind it back, during hot runs i withdraw moneys consistently but as soon as it goes down i move down stakes, i advice you to do the same, this way you will
I want to say I have lost count of how many times I have gone broke and minus, but that is an understatement.
I gain some few dollars each day and go broke, basicly close to every day - lol.
Home run, or run home LMAO.
Its amazing how much a night of sleep can do for your spiritual morale.
I feel fine now and ready to take on another day on the poker felts.
Kthxbai
Vers 1)
In the quiet of the night, I hear your voice,
Echoes of a love that once was our choice.
Shattered dreams and broken hearts,
Now we're just two souls torn apart.
(Chorus)
Tears fall like rain, washing away,
Memories of a time we thought would stay.
Lonely nights and endless days,
Living in the shadow of yesterdays
(Vers 2)
I see your face in every crowd,
A ghostly whisper, a silent vow.
Promises made, now lost in the wind,
A love that faded, a heart that can't mend.
(Chorus)
Tears fall like rain, washing away,
Memories of a time we thought would stay.
Lonely nights and endless days,
Living in the shadow of yesterday.
(Brygga)
Every moment, every single sigh,
A piece of me that had to die.
In the darkness, I still see,
The love we lost, the you and me.
(Chorus)
Tears fall like rain, washing away,
Memories of a time we thought would stay.
Lonely nights and endless days,
Living in the shadow of yesterday
(Outro)
So here I stand, alone and cold,
A story ended, a tale untold.
In the silence, I still hear,
The echo of a love once so near.
Here is a sad song that I will upload soon on youtube
It was a fun read in the beginning but there has been no growth whatsoever. You don’t study using a solver or sim database, you dont want to work full time to pay off your debt. You blame everyone and everything but yourself.
Even if you take TRT to get jacked physically it won’t be enough to compensate for your weak mentality. You have no discipline and you don’t respect the game nor yourself. If you did, you wouldn’t be in this situation.
You’ll never make it without change. This blog will forever be about you borrowing pennies from family/friends just to punt it off in some satty.
Actually, I think the one thing he doesn't do is blame others. He might complain a bit, but he does seem to accept that he's in charge and all decisions are his alone.
