A raging fish on a heater

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A raging fish on a heater

ChanY avatar
OP
1194 posts · member since Aug 2014
10yr ago

Intro,
A memoir of a degen:
I've always loved to gamble, and I have done so since I was a kid. It did not start of very w

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18 March 2016 at 11:57 AM
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ChanY avatar
OP
1194 posts · member since Aug 2014
2mo ago

Came 13th busted ato v K9o k on turn.
Proceed to torch all $1.8k on PLO

I don't want to live anymore
Both my parents are grandly pissed

Sn0mad avatar
9 posts · member since Apr 2026
2mo ago
by ChanY
by Sn0mad

Dude like why don't you grind on other sites I only assume it's PS only right There are decent tournaments on ipoker network and cash play are very weak

888poker was an eye opener for me bro

What poker sites you recommend sn0mad?

I would try perhaps sky poker or paddy poker, both on ipoker network but cash games are weak so easy to exploit with the skill set you seem to have based on the results you have

Masq avatar
383 posts · member since Oct 2008
2mo ago
by Sn0mad

I would try perhaps sky poker or paddy poker, both on ipoker network but cash games are weak so easy to exploit with the skill set you seem to have based on the results you have

Lol..... "skill set".

It's not even about being a good or bad player when you end up moving up stakes and punting off the roll the minute he loses a hand.

I do admire the ability to bink some tournaments and run a roll up, but there's clearly a lot more to the game than doing this.

34 posts · member since Apr 2026
2mo ago

Don't play 109s online & don't play 500NL or 500PLO online. You won't beat that game atm.
Start playing $11 MTTs & 50PLO 50NL looking to take shots at live.
I assume you still have 5k+ for a roll your parents got right?

270 posts · member since Mar 2005
2mo ago

To those of you giving ChanY bankroll advice, stakes advice, life advice, etc., here's what you fail to understand:

ChanY is in the "absolute elsewhere".

193 posts · member since Oct 2024
2mo ago
by ChanY

Came 13th busted ato v K9o k on turn.
Proceed to torch all $1.8k on PLO

I don't want to live anymore
Both my parents are grandly pissed

ffs man, we cant keep doing this! Despite the madness i believe you have a good heart, go to f****** therapy please. we dont want you killing yourself bro. Ill personally fund the first few sessions if you go, i mean it, my only demand is ill be paying the therapist direct. Hope your ok, tomorrow is a new day.

ChanY avatar
OP
1194 posts · member since Aug 2014
2mo ago

I won $15k in three weeks

Now I have 0 to myself

I'll probably kill myself soon

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About OP

ChanY avatar
ChanY
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ChanY avatarChanY
5mo ago

chany is alive...

ChanY avatarChanY
9mo ago

Won $1550 in a WCOOP side event.
Kthxbai more details 2morrow.

Im cooking....

ChanY avatarChanY
10yr ago

Intro,
A memoir of a degen:
I've always loved to gamble, and I have done so since I was a kid. It did not start of very well either, I was buried deep in ''debts'' as a 8 year old when I ran incredibly bad playing rock paper scissors against a friend for Runescape in-game currency (had to grind for two weeks straight killing monsters and collecting loot ffs). This passed on and every game I played had the touch of gambling. I played Habbohotel (a online-community where you could interact and have rooms which you could decorate with furniture) where you could actually have your own casino, lol. You basicly had in-game dices that you rolled and the closest one to 21 won double theyr wager. At the age of ten I was playing blackjack basicly for real money since the in-game furniture actually costed and I was playing pretty high stakes. It doesn't strike me until now how sick that actually is and that it was not targeted in any way.

Fastforward until I'm 18 where I started actually gambling a tad, the occasional slot or some blackjack. I really loved it, a bit too much. However that was short lived, I still remember my first experience on Pokerstars. I deposited 20 bucks and played 25NL, doubling it up quickly and as quickly dumping it. I deposited again and started playing some 6 max hypers and I was hooked. This was the ****, and I was actually good at it! (roflmao I sucked and ran like Hermes). I made like 300 bucks in two days and thought I had found out a way to print money. Cashed out, and was incredibly pleased with myself. Well spoiler alert, this was not a way of printing money. I kept playing and I sucked so bad that I just kept losing for months, the fact that I was playing $15s. I gambled away every single penny I earned through my job as a; wait for it..: croupier (lol how unexpected). It sucked, I was such a degen and I hated myself for it. I was counting down every single day until my next salary which is the 25th here in Sweden, and then procceeded to go broke within days. Rinse and repeat. Relatively it was not very big sums at all, but it was what I had and it started to escalate.

I had tried to play tournaments at times, but I just did not have the patience. Patience has never been my thing, and patience is key in MTT poker. 6 max hypers were perfect, fast paced and mass variance. My cup of tea. I would try the occasional turbo but even that was too slow for me. I gave the Hotter 16.5 a shot one sunday and I managed to go deep. I played like utter bull****, but with 30 left I was 2nd in chips. I was about to burst in pure excitement, this was my DREAM. To break even and even be in big profit. Every degen knows that they only have one goal on theyr mind, to break even. You look forward to that ****ing day when all your losses are buried by the big score. For months this was on my mind, I had to make back what I lost. But I was quickly pulled out of my dream. I busted in 16th when my A9s could not hold up against KQ. The queen on the floop was like a sledgehammer to my nuts. I could not sleep that night, I felt so incredibly bad that I did not know what to do with myself. I was so close, but I was screwed. ****ing ****.

Somehow the next Sunday I manage to run deep in the Hotter 75. I remember the prize being 20k+ and I felt that this was my ****ing chance, I was given a second ****ing chance. This time was my ****ing time, and when I see a shove and reshove and wait impatiently to click call with my KK the excitement was beyond the roof. I even flopped a set, but I got backdoored by A7o which rivered a straight. I proceeded to bust in 50th place and once again I was a wreck. ****ing hell, fml. So ****ing close again why was I so unlucky? Little did I know that worse was to come.
I decided to solely grind turbo MTTs, I had been so close to my goal and felt that I kept grinding that I could do it. Over the coming 6 months I ran so ****ing bad that it was not sane. Admittedly I was not very good at playing, but I just took some insane and outrageous beats where I should have just held. It never stopped and I kept being manhandled deep in tournaments over and over again. Obviously this is not good for your economical status and I was torching money at a very fast rate. As the months kept passing I had an occasional small 1-2k score which I lost back within weeks, enough to keep the small fire within myself burning.

My first real big score was the Hot 27, I won $4k. This was in december just a couple of months ago. And somehow I was not satisfied at all, this was rougly more than 1/3 of what I had managed to lost in the previous year. I had to keep grinding, and grinding I did almost managing to bust my roll again. For a couple of weeks I was swinging like a ****ing yo-yo. Losing 2-3k, binking a mtt, losing 2-3k and then binking again. At this time I decided to invest in a coach, I GRIND THIS (best coach NA) which pointed out my obvious leaks (punting and random spazzes lol) but also overall helped me play a much more solid game. Well, shortly after I procceeded to have the sickest sunday ever where I chopped the Hotter $33 for $10.5k, won a $109 turbo for $5.8k and chopped the Hotter 8.8 for $2k.

Finally I had managed to break even, and was well in the profits region. But it was not as I had imagined to all. All I felt was apathy, it really was not as big of a deal as I had thought. The coming days I barely played at all, and when I did i played sloppy since I had no motivation at all. I had gone from zero to actually having much money (by my own standards) and I really could not give less of a ****.

This was just a month ago, I actually was about to start a journal here before that but I just could not be arsed at that time.

With all my rabblings put away this will be my log where I log everything. All the MTTs I play, all my feelings and what not. I will try to take a much more serious and stricter approach towards poker where every single hand and BI matters, as of right now I'm not always playing my A-game and sometimes I basicly punt away stacks especially early on in tournaments. This journal will be a way to enforce myself of playing a solid game since I will log every single tournament played with any occuring spot or if I do something plain stupid.

As of now I only have one goal and that is to make $25k until the end of the year, not including earlier cashes so I'm counting from journal start.

So sit back, fasten your seat belts and enjoy the ride!

Thread savers:

My graph, lol. Outdated one tho, I might be a tad + since then.

A newly taken picture of me....